Now the hard part begins

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Now the hard part begins
5
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:30am
Just wanted to say thanks to all of you who responded to my posts last week. Your support and well wishes mean more than I can say. I just got back from a long weekend with some girlfriends. I managed to have a pretty good time despite being torn up and miserable inside - it was good to be away and have something else to focus my attention on. But now I'm back and I'm hurting BIG TIME. I miss XMM so much. Everything reminds me of him. And I can't stop expecting an email or a phone call. Of course it didn't help that my H was grumpy and less than enthusiastic when I got home yesterday. Sometimes I wonder why on earth I bother with anything. I know the next few weeks (months???) are going to be very, very hard for me. I know they are hard for XMM too. No doubts here about whether he misses me, etc. - I KNOW that he does. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier. I guess there's nothing to be done except grit my teeth and get through it.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. Thanks again so much for everything. I'll be around - and probably on the ending board too.

Peace

GB2

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:41am
((((HUGS))))

cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:52am
Hi GB2. I am also trying to deal with the end of my A, which I have not heard from MM for 4 weeks now, so I'm assuming its the end, although unlike you, I never got a goodbye or anything, just nothing.

I know you said you were not going to have an affair again, neither am I. No one could replace MM and I have no desire to seek out another.

I am also going to try and work on my M. This past weekend makes 2 in a row I didn't fight with H. So its a good start. I'm trying to think more kindly about my H and trying to concentrate my thoughts on him and not MM.

So far so good, I haven't really thought about MM too much this weekend. Just the odd thought about our times together, they were so good!!

But I really have to move on, so do you. Its tough, but there are people here who can help with some kind words when you're going thru a rough day. So hang in there baby, you'll be okay in the long run!! Take care,

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:17pm
Hey Dusty! I've actually been meaning to post to you. You and I were posting on the Ending board around the same time last fall. I remember what you went through then and am so very sorry that you are going through it again. I think that disappearing on you in this way is just WRONG. At the very least you deserve an explanation. In the end, though, no matter how it happens, no matter the circumstances, losing someone you care about HURTS. I've heard it compared to a death - and it really is! I've thought a hundred thousand times of things I want to tell XMM the next time we talk. Then it hits me like a mountain of cinderblocks - we aren't going to talk. He's gone from my life. OMG - that just hurts so damn much!

I'm so glad that the last couple weekends with your H have been good ones. I don't know what will happen with me and my H. I guess we'll see. I'm trying to figure out if I can still manage to have a good relationship with him knowing that my heart is with XMM. XMM and I talked about this once - he said he felt the same way about his W and wondered the same thing. I guess now we both get to find out.

Anyway, hang in there. Ultimately you are right - we'll be OK.

(((HUGS)))

GB2

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:34pm
Sending you hugz, goingbonkers. This is the part I'm not looking forward to - the end. But everything does end, doesn't it.

Keep yourself busy, focus on things that make you happy. It will take time for the hurt to go away, but it will. More forward with your life, remember the happy times. But most importantly, know there will be more happy times with someone equally as special.

Take care of yourself; body and soul.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 1:38pm
Thanks GB2. It doesn't hurt so bad this time around in NC. And if its truly the end, I can accept that. Really, I shouldn't take him back even if he wanted to, I should teach him a lesson. Its hard to believe, he is such a gentleman, that he would treat me this way.

I have to remember that, and he would probably never have treated his W this way if they were dating.

Meanwhile, I have H. Which everything is not peachy, but we both agree we need to work on our relationship. So at least I have a little hope there. Anyways, I will keep you updated how its going, and I hope you don't have too hard of a time getting over MM.

Dusty
xxxx