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|Sat, 09-22-2012 - 2:16am|
Oh Jesus, I don't know why I"m complicating my life with this, but here goes....
So we went to Miami 3 months ago. The point was just to be together, his pretext was the he was going to see friends he hasn't seen in years and we stayed at his house. Basically spent time with them. OK, I paid for my ticket and some other travel related expenses, which is fine.
Now, he wants to go to San Diego for a conference. He told me to book for 3-4 days (incomplete 3-4 days, they include the travel which is at least 9 hours). He only registered for 1 day and the rest is supposed to be for us. I'm fine with paying for my plane ticket, but somehow I assumed that he'll pay the hotel, since he would still stay there without me, but he said that we should split it 50%-50% since he doesn't have money.
Ok, he has 4 kids, but his W works (doesn't make very much but still) and all Canadians receive money from the gouv for the kids. And he always receives projects and sometimes tells me how much money he would make from this or that project. Yet, he still says that he doesn't have much money and well, maybe....
I was a full time student and have been living on my savings since March. He knows that I have savings and maybe he thinks that they are substantial, I don't know. And my ex is 3 month late with child support. He knows that...
So, I was going to tell him about the hotel, that he should pay for the day that he would stay there during the conference and I'll split the extra days, but didn't have time.
Later at night, he tells me that we def. should stay 4 days, because on day 3, there will be a party and we should go. But that "we""ll have to pay extra for this, i.e. he's expecting me to contribute for the party. I say that it's starting to get too much and he says, don't exagerate baby, it won't be much and that he MIGHT pay for me. I answer something, but no reply from him about that.
Later, he tells me that he found a hotel and that he's going to book it right now. I didn't expect it to be so fast, so ask him to wait so we can talk. It was late and I asked to talk next week, since he's busy with work and specifically told me that he didn't want to argue this weekend. He's asking me what I want to talk about. I say that by text, it's too long for me to type, lets wait. That I have certain circumstances (i.e. I'll have to pay for my son's babysitter in addition to everything, etc.) that make it more difficult. I didn't have time to tell him anything, I really wanted to discuss and see if there's a solution, but he seemed impatient to know at that moment. When I repeated that we should talk during a better moment, he says that he's going to book ithe hotel for him, since it's clear that I don't want to go, that I only want to tell him that and that he knows that it's because I don't have money ,he understands and there's nothing to discuss. Then he says good night and dissapears, so it's obvious that he's annoyed.
I have to say that I don't really care about SD. For me, it would only be to be able to spend a couple of days AND nights with him, but basically this expense comes because he's married, otherwise, we would simply be together normally. So I obviously expected him to contribute more.
In the beginning, he paid for everything himself. He told me that that's the way it is in Cuba and I have to get used to it. But then, 2 of the 4 kids lived in Cuba and he had less expenses. And it was the courtship period. Lately, not only we rarely go anywhere (which is understandable), but I pay half and actually, even invited him twice.
I'm really annoyed right now. It's super late and I can't sleep.
Is he being cheap ? Am I being cheap ? Is this just some communication problem ?
Du to the nature of our relationship, I attribute everything to him taking me for granted. But maybe I have this wrong idea that given that he's married, he should be lucky that I tolerate him and make more efforts ?