Now what?
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Now what?
| Thu, 01-08-2004 - 1:37pm |
Well I had left this board because my H had found out about the A. That was last month. On January 1st MM had the worst argument he had ever had with his W and left the house that night and called me and we spent the night together, something that we had planned before and never happened. He was very upset and said that he was mostly thinking about his daughter. On that night we had sex but I asked him during if he was ok to do it and he said yes but then stopped by making an excuse that I was tired. I really didnt think that after what he had gone through that it was ok for us to have sex, I don't know. Well after that he was depressed, but still asking me how my situation has been going and what I am going to do. We have been spending alot of time together that we could never do before. He moved into another room in his house and he says that he is going to get a divorce after taxes and doesnt know what to do about the house. I had asked him after this happened if he would like to give me a chance if things didnt work out with her and he said yes. They have an agreement that he and her don't have to ask each other where the other has been or tell where they are going. Basically, he says, he is living there for room and board until he finds something. I already left my house. We both keep saying to each other that one or the other is going to go back to W/H and we both say no. We have not had any physical contact since that night and he said that there should be no sex for now to be on the safe side, whatever that means, but he does talk about it and wants to. I am just content with spending time with him, but not knowing what comes next is killing me.
Sally

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Again, WOW!
Charlotte
Sally
i don't know about you, sally, but i couldn't comfort my MM without sex! oh we would talk and hold each other, etc. but our intimacy level deepens so much with skin-to-skin contact. and it reaffirms our feelings toward each other.
so i'm confused by your MM's reluctance to have sex "for now".... does sexual contact with you confuse him because he would fall further into you or is MM just confused about life in general??
if both of you want to be together in the future, you have to do the work now to get out of bad marriages, live on your own and "date" to see if you can build a real R, not one based on secret, clandestine meetings and deceit. and give the R time to heal and grow. and yourselves too. there are some hard decisions to be made here. and i hope you and MM have good communication so there's none of that "does he want me" "is she going back to H" stuff. talk, talk, talk to each other on every issue, no matter how difficult or ugly. and hug each other alot too!
good luck,
gurl
Hang in there,
Charlotte
gurl
gurl
Sally
just be there for MM, or should i say, stbxMM!
hang in there missy!
gurl
Sally
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