Now who would of thought............
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Now who would of thought............
| Sat, 11-21-2009 - 5:56am |
that things turned out the way they have..........
Well after great turmoil at the beginning of the year about what to do with my life. After months if not a couple of years of dilemma and being scared to move forward out of my M, knowing i didnt love my H no more, but scared of moving on. Scared of hurting him, scared of making the wrong desiscions and my children suffering for it.
Well i told my H i no longer loved him (knew that from the moment i overstepped the line with AP

I'm so glad for you. It's nice to hear from you and that you are doing well. I can tell by your words that you are in a good place right now. I'm very proud of you for making that move toward your happiness. Have you and H seperated or divorced?
That's the hardest thing for me in my situation. My H and I seperated a few months ago and it's been so hard for me to see him in pain. I dont like it at all, but we are very good friends. That I am thankful for.
Please keep us posted :)
Edited 11/21/2009 8:20 pm ET by caribu79
Hi Caribu, Yes we have separated but not divorced as yet. We aim to file early next year as we both agreed to one step at a time for both our sakes and the children. But we have both stated that it needs to happen sooner rather than later then we can both move on completely.
Like you i hated seeing H in pain, watching him crumble as such before me. But he has survived and has come out the other side as a trooper. I in a million years would not of beleived it of him. He showed me to be such a weak person when we were together. In fact it has proven to me just how much more he could of done for US if he had wanted to.
At the end of the day they are Adults, they are gown up men, why do we have to feel responsible for their happiness at the expense of ours. Its by no means easy and maybe a little selfish but why live a lie with them if we are no longer in love with them. I just kept asking myself that if he was in my shoes and no longer loved me then would he have done the same, and you know what knowing my H he would not of done it differntly, in fact he probably wouldnt have been as tactful as i was.
When i first started my A i knew I no longer was in love with H. For if I was then how could I have consciously done that to him. For me the best thing, the thing that took the most courage to do was to be honest to myself and to him. No matter what pain i knew id put him through, compared to the pain he would of endured had he found out about the A and beleiving all along that i still loved him, would of been more destructive to him.
Good luck hun, and time is a healer for all concern. Everyone deserves to be Happy, and in time your H too will find happinesss and move on.
SS
"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
I am happy for you. Your post has given me some things to think about.
MAM