Numb and Emotionless today...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Numb and Emotionless today...
6
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 9:38am
Just got to my office and no email from MM. And he did not send me anything yesterday either when he KNEW I had another treatment and I had asked him to send me something to make me smile. Told him it(a little funny email) would be appreciated. A week ago yesterday he made a special trip out of his way to come and buy me lunch- now his actions ( or lack there of I should say) seem well like he doesn't give a rip. Or he is starting to show me the cold shoulder. I wish he knew how I needed him right now. I feel like I am going through withdrawal with everything. I guess I'm not numb because I miss him; I wish he missed me.

Feeling uncared for, unwanted, abandoned, and just plain lost... sorry to be a whiner this morning...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 9:47am
No, no, vles....you whine all you want.
cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 11:10am
I feel it is his 'turn' to make contact with me. It hurts- I never truly expected to ride away in the sunset with him, but I thought he and were on a level where since I was very honest with him- he would feel he could be honest with me no matter what he had to say. It took alot for me to tell him I was sick and since that was a few weeks ago and he didn't bail- I really think he should be able to suck it up and be honest back. We have not had IC. We have developed maybe a friendship with a little something attached to it. So he really has no reason to abandon me- I made it clear I did not want anything from him. He should not be feeling threatened in the least.

Again, I am lost.

Thanks for your kind words. Please slap me in the face now and tell me to wake up to reality.

Thanks hon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 11:29am
V

maybe he is scared ---

sometimes when you care alot you run away and hide from things --- sort of a flight or fight response - some men and very strong when faced with problems others don't know what

all of the emotion they are feeling is and they get confused -

He is probably having a hard time expressing things because you have been adament about him not talking to you about it and keeping it a secret - so it's like a double wammy - maybe it's time you did talk to him about it - I know it's scarey what you are going through but some support from the man you truely care about can make all the difference in this world - believe me I have been there many times

I am there now....

I need him bad

Kikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 11:41am
You don't need a slap, he does, for that matter all these rotten MM do!! What you need is a hug and here is one for you ((((vles64))))

Dusty

and you too ((((kiki))))
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 2:13pm
I'm sorry vles you're feeling so down today. I'm going through the same thing. Poured my heart out to MM and he basically said I have fun with you when I spend time with you and I don't want to take it to another level. Why do we always have to be the ones that get hurt? Why can't we be the callous ones and have them begging for our love and affections? In essence, why do we have to care do much? I'm sorry I'm not helping, I'm being a downer right now too. Just keep your chin up and hope things get better for you.

IBC

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 4:28pm
vles

I am going to give you a little advice here if you don’t mind…you are ILL, and your main concern right now should be concentrating on getting yourself healthy again…FIRST and foremost physically, and hopefully emotionally as well. Please stop pining over this man (as much as you can)…it’s not good for you emotionally, which I’m sure is not good for you physically.

The best thing you can do is steer clear from him for your own sake. Do this to concentrate on YOU; be strong in a resolve to ONLY allow him to treat you 100% positively and with complete respect. Don’t push him or ask for anything (even a joke for a smile) from him…he knows you are having a tough time with life right now, back off him completely, concentrate on you for YOUR sake, and see what his ACTIONS say about how he feels about you. If he cares one iota for you, he’ll come around and be there for you in the best possible way that he can. If he doesn’t he’s NO LOSS and you're better off without him! But please, please try to do this for YOU, not to extract some kind of reaction from him. REALLY think about you.

NO words are needed and there is nothing wrong with letting him know that YOU are your number ONE priority right now and that you will not allow any treatment of you that is not that of which you DESERVE, and if you’re not number one to yourself at the moment, please, please, make yourself number one.