Numbness
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Numbness
| Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:42pm |
Where do I begin. I've been feeling very bad lately. My H is constantly hugging and kissing me and telling me he loves me.In all aspects I should be happy with a man who loves me unconditionally. But my mind constantly wanders to the OM. It's not like my lover will be more than just that. We are good friends and will occasionally get together for "our time". I can't help but feel horrible for my H. When ever I'm with H, I'm thinking of OM. He's always in my thoughts. And I know it will be nothing more than what we have. So why am I just hanging on. I have a H who loves me. I told him recently that maybe we need some time apart. But he refuses. He tells me we're not taking a break, that we're going to work it out. I try to put things in perspective. My H will always love me with all his heart. As for the OM, well he currently lives with his g/f. And he's clearly told me that since we each have partners, nothing can move further. And I know that. OM has been living with his g/f for about 2 years. I've been married 11 years but been with H for at least 17. That's a lot of years to just give up. I just feel numb right now. My life is just a stand still. Me wanting to be free to do what I want. Or having a stable life with a H who loves me.
Signatures On
| Fri, 03-05-2004 - 6:06pm |
I would go for the stable life with the H given you have a OM who is going anywhere with his g/f. Why do need to be separated from H to go anywhere with OM if he has told you clearly its not going anywhere? I don't like conditions from a man who doesn't want to do the same with his life. I didn't get your need to be separated. Do you want to be, but are scared or that is only way OM will give you any hope for future with him?? You never said if you loved your H?? ALl that should be considered before you make a decision. Ok, gotta go. Later...
| Fri, 03-05-2004 - 11:50pm |
It doesn't sound to me like she wants to separate because of the OM. She knows there is no future there and that her H loves her and yet she still wants to separate. I understand this feeling. What you need to do neo is take the time to analyze your M. Get some counseling. And then you'll have to decide if your M is worth saving. My guess is some of your needs aren't being met. It's wonderful that your husband is being affectionate and loving now. Was that always the case? Does he really open up to you and talk or just kiss and hug you? Are there sexual issues? All of these could be problems that you need to resolve, for better or for worse. And if you do decide you need the time and space a separation would give you, use that space to work on you. Don't just run to the OM because that won't truly solve any problems you may have that could hinder a future R. Regardless, I hope you find the peace you're looking for. I'm seeking mine as well. I believe most of it can be found within. But sometimes once you find it, you'll find your world outside of you is no longer what you once saw it as. Good luck with the difficult times ahead. I'm here if you ever need support.
| Sat, 03-06-2004 - 2:23pm |
You are right omahamm. We should try to resolve the issue with our marriage before we seek it outside of it. If it is sexual or emotional, if you fix it, the outside can no longet hold any attraction. That was an excellent post from you omaha. Good luck to you, neo.
