Oh the joys of feelings, what is it with feelings? - ramblings-

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2011
Oh the joys of feelings, what is it with feelings? - ramblings-
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 12:26am

It's been a while since i posted....a few months.  Me and ap been continuing our flirting game.....last 'encounter' was early May ... oh and mid may.   With a lot of longing on my part for more.  But I have learned to be patient and enjoy the fleeting moments we share.   Well that's what i thought.  I thought I was being smart.....patient.....we have become closer it feels (to me anyway) and talk alot but not too much personal stuff where spouses might be named.  Felt liberating last week when it seemed we had agreed to meet up and then I didn't wait long enough I guess cause the next day he was like where did you go?  And mean while i thought he was trying to avoid me....so that was good that he wasn't....and it was me this time that let him down lol.   

Further development is we have now exchanged #s.  However, this doesn't mean we text often....barely at all, just a couple of times since.  I know he trusts me to be smart and not call him middle of ntight etc......i have only texted him when i know he is at work.   

I know this was just rambling but i needed to just voice my feelings.

So all week, pretty intense flirting, tonight also and I had hoped that we could have met up tonite but it didn't work out.  This whole lure me in turn me down hoopla, ?   Why do guys play this game?  I know the answer - the fun is in the chase - but i don't totally agree with the answer, I think it would be  alot more funner to take it one step further.

I try not to take it personal that it wont work out for both us certain nites but i sillyly get my hopes up on nites i know could be potential hookup nights.

A couple of things i have learned from my experience and this board is that:

1)  dont overthing things (ya know, like i am right now lol)  just dont do it - its a waste of energy and just confuses you

2) dont let the affair consume your life, it should be an addition ......... true true true, i remind myself of this often and since i do i don't have as much emotional drama about it (i know i am showing emo drama now by this post but ya know what i mean!)

My thoughts right now are that you can love 2 people.   I love my family, but I think I am falling in love with this man, al beit because i feel more spiritually connected.  You only live once.