Ok, so, I just can't stay away from here
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Ok, so, I just can't stay away from here
| Tue, 10-28-2003 - 2:04pm |
I know I said I was leaving under the assumption that my unfulfilled affair would just never happen. After having OM tell me (via email) that we couldn't talk, then 2 days later tell me (in person) that we can talk and be friends (which is all we ever were), then 3 days after that totally ignore me to my face (he stood 2 inches from me and didn't say a word). Then he never responded to an email I sent him that same day (which has now been 5 days). So I called it quits on him and our "friendship" because I hate games unless there are well defined rules. (we never even had an A.....just flirted.). Well, as chance would have it, I ran into him today and he acted like nothing ever happened again. He chatted it up with me and was fine. He's driving me crazy!!!!! Why is he doing this? I'm so pissed at myself for not standing up to him and saying "hey, what's up? why are you talking to me? What the hell is going on with you?". So, again, I sent him an email asking him what is going on. Now, I'm just waiting for a response. He told me that he ran into my manager at the bar on Saturday night...she knows all about how I feel about him and everything that's been going on. I'm wondering if she said something. I won't see her again until Thursday.
AHHHHHH!!!!!!! Roller coaster......I'm back!!! I hate allowing myself to be controlled like this by someone! The bad thing is, I really do care for him. He really is a nice guy and I would love to be able to sit and tell him all of how I feel. This is nuts!! I feel so out of control.....and I like to have control.
Oh well, just needed to vent! If anyone has the secrets of a man's mind....please let me know! I would really like to figure out what is going on and how to handle this. Should I just go with the flow of it? Talk to him if he talks to me, ignore him when he ignores me?
"Blue"

I have some reflecting to do.