ok..heres a tough Q..please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
ok..heres a tough Q..please help!
11
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 4:17pm

ok..so my AP just asked me to come to his home and see him..he will be home alone..the W is working...i want to go sooo bad..i've never been asked to go to his house. it's kind of exciting...being risky and all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 4:50pm

I'd say no. Yes it's crossing a line, but even worse, it's raising your chances of getting caught - BIG time. His wife could come home way earlier than expected. Things happen - she doesn't feel good, or her work is done sooner than she thought. I don't know if he has adult or teenage kids, but they could come in (even adult kids often have keys to "the homestead"). I personally know of TWO cases in my real life where the spouse came home to find their spouse with someone else in their house - the wife walked in in one case, the husband in another.

I think it's a very common way to get caught - and just about the WORST way to get caught, for all involved. Think about it.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 5:45pm

BTDT


That is how xAP and I got caught. I'm not going to tell you not to do this, you are going to do what you want to, regardless.


Just know the dangers associated with it, know that it could mean a severe and abrupt end to your A...he will sing her tune to stay in the home if ever caught. Know that we women folk can sometimes get a little

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 7:50pm
I wouldn't advise it.
maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 8:13pm

I agree with the other ladies on the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 10:41pm

I think you got wonderful advice. It's very dangerous.
Having said that....I have done it. On several occasions when she was out of the state.

We both wanted to see where each other lived...day to day...so we could picture each other there. But that can come back to bite you in the butt...emotionally. I know what their bed looks like, how it's positioned under the skylight, the lovely bathroom, the kids pictures all over. (and NO, we were NEVER intimate in their bedroom)

It turned out to be very difficult for him too. He just sat in our bedroom in my rocking chair staring at the bed and finally said "I think this was a mistake". We were never intimate at my home.

We've been together over five years now (have known each other for 43 YEARS and were engaged) and haven't been to each other's home for three years. It's just too painful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 1:02am
Just say NO. Don't do it. Like gal_anonymous, that is how my AP and I got caught.
~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 2:43am
A friend gave me very good advice once~~she said 'believe me~~that is one mental image you do not want.'
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 2:58am

The really bad thing about the circumstances surrounding our D-day was not xAp's wife catching us...it was his 15 yr old step daughter who skipped school and came home on lunch break! I would have rathered the W caught us.


Ok I did feel badly for the W at the time, but not near as bad as I felt for the step daughter. I would never ever ever want my son to see me having sex with my H, his own father...let alone another man. I know that xAP and I helped to scar that girl forever. She is at an instable time in a teen girl's life already~~ just from hormones and all that being a teenager entails, but he and I set her up to NEVER trust anyone, esp anyone she may become emotionally involved with as she matures and gets to be a jr or sr in highschool and then a full fledged adult. Her "ideals" about how relationships are supposed to work were shattered by her step Dad and myself that dreadful day. She walked in the front door and caught me on top of xAP and yes, we were both naked and in the middle of the "act".


Soooo...when you go to AP's house, it

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 10:58am
Small hijack -
Gal, would you care to add your story to the D-day thread below in the Resource folder. It is an eye-opening story.
~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 11:11am

That took some guts to post gal and