old friends where are you!?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-06-2009 - 3:24am |
For those who know me, I am a total wreck. I thought I could handle this, I know I broke it off several times and it never lasted. But this time it NEEDS to be over. I discovered way too many secrets and lies (you all know what I'm talking about)... I can't be in denial any longer. My heart is just breaking into to many pieces. =(
Of course, when I am sad, I stumbled about this article on yahoo by a user:
You mean nothing to him, except a lay.
All men cheat at least once, and it's usually with a love starved woman like you who will throw herself at any man that shows her a little attention.
You may not want to believe this, but he is lying to you too.
He tells you that he does not get what he needs at home, he tells you that he will eventually leave his wife to be with you, or that he's not getting sex. It's all lies.
He loves his wife and she loves him, he adores his children and they adore him.
He has no intention of letting go of that, but he will make mistakes when the office bimbo is throwing herself at him because she can't have a relationship with an available man because she is so insecure. She is the type of woman he wants to keep secret. He's ashamed of her.
You are easy and he knows it.....everyone knows it.
Do you think he is going to leave his wife to live happily ever after with you? I think not.
How would he introduce you at family gatherings? "This is the office bimbo who sleeps with married men", or "This is the nice young lady who gives oral sex to guys in the parking lot".
What you are is what he REALLY thinks of you.
It's easy for a wife to forgive her husband when he gets busted because the wife has seen how desperate women like you are. You are not capable of getting a man of your own and holding on to him, so you try to get what you can't have.
Having been married for 16 years to a man who was busted 3 years ago, having open, honest conversations, and working through it.......here's what he told me......
At first, friendship, then attraction. He says that he knew she was easy so he started telling her things like...' Me and the wife are not getting along" and eventually , "I don't love her anymore" and "We no longer have sex"......
I never had a clue because we were happy, the sex was great, we got along great, he told me he loved me every day...
I knew he was friends with her and I had no suspicions until she was desperately needing his help all the time. She started acting a little crazy to the point of being jealous that he would spend time with the family.
He says that he was afraid to break it off because of what she might do, and that after having sex with her, she disgusted him and he did not know what to do. She threatened suicide and eventually attempted it.
When he finally broke it off, she started harassing our family. (even our children).
He says that he never stopped loving me and that he made a terrible mistake that he will regret the rest of his life.
We have heard that she was trying for another married man who turned her down, and that she was admitted to a mental institution for a while. Hopefully she has a life now.
The point I am trying to make is, that, there is something mentally wrong with women who go after married men, something in their life is terribly wrong and it could range from fear of commitment just plain psychotic behavior.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Argggh.... of course the "wife" has no freaking idea what is going on in an affair! She thinks that he's only lying to the mistress, but he's also lying to the wife!!! Doesn't the wife ever think that "hey he's telling her he loves her, and he's saying it to me - whose he lying to?" maybe he's telling the wife he loves her because he doesn't want to end up on the street alone???
Aggghhh i hate life, i hate affairs, they're lonely and heartbreaking, never ever again. =(

hi lost, im so sorry your going through this. I do hope you get responses from your old friends who best know your whole situation and therefore can be of help to you. All i can say is and im sure you will know this anyway is that if your that unhappy, if the situation your in is causing you so much hearache then defend yourself, do what you need to do to get to where you know you can be yourself and be happy. I know its not easy, and I know its hurts but is it really worth it. I as many of us are in unhappy marriages, we find it difficult to walk away because of the way our lives are entwined with our spouses. To walk away from a Ap of whom we are so deeply emotionally attached too has its own difficulties, im not saying leave or get rid. What im saying is look at yourself as a person and see what makes YOU happy without the reliance of others. They should enhance and contribute to that happiness and not be our main source of feed of happiness. I wish you strength and luck. Im sorry if ive not been of much help. I often think to myself 'if i was to loose my life tomorrow, would i look back and think "gosh did i really loose so much of my precious time on allowing another human to treat me that way'.
hugs to you
SS
"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
lost i hope you find that strength. I can only but tell you how i deal with things. Look at things a day at a time, have small steps rather than leaps. What i mean by this is for eg. of when someone is on a diet, dont look at a week or a month, look at the day at hand, and focus on the moments at hand, otherwise one would look ahead and think 'oh no a whole week of watching what I eat, dont eat etc before weigh day'.
"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
*Hugs* lost.
Hey girl.