OM's Fiance Called Me re: surprise party

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
OM's Fiance Called Me re: surprise party
3
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 4:16pm
Imagine my surprise when I checked the voice mail on my cell phone last night to hear a message not from OM, but from his fiance'! The message, which had a somewhat snotty tone, basically told me that she was sorry she forgot me but she was throwing OM a surprise party on Saturday (the 27th) and "managed" to get my number. She also said that she knew it was short notice and that I probably couldn't go, but she was trying to call all his "work friends". She didn't leave any information, just said to call her and let her know if I could go.

This got me thinking about a few things...

First, how did she "manage" to get my number? From who? I teach in the same district as OM and we hang out with the same after-work crowd, but he is the only one in the group that has my #. Also, his fiance has never been too nice to me, even before he and I started seeing each other. She and a few of the other wives shunned me at a party once just because I showed up without H (he was away on business). I am a little confused as to why she would even invite me to this surprise party. Also, she could have e-mailed me much more easily. Every employee's e-mail address is as follows: lastnamefirstinitial@nameofschooldistrict.com. Pretty easy.

That being said, OM was invited to my 30th surprise party a few months ago, because H asked a co-worker for a list of everyone who hung out in our crowd from both schools. OM came to my party too, but his fiancee didn't because she "had to babysit her nieces."

So...here is my dilemma...do I call her back? It would be rude not to, but I feel weird about it. Any advice? Should I try to go through a third party and say I didn't have her number (which she didn't leave, btw, I just have caller ID on my cell phone). More importantly, do I go to the party???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 7:24pm
Yikes !

Careful, careful. I can't help but feel like you're being baited a little.

If it were me, I'd investigate a little with other people likely to be invited and see how they were contacted and if they are going. I agree it seems odd that she has your cell if no one else has it. If other people got emails and you got called... it might be some sort of challenge being issued. If someone else in your circle of friends told her to invite you because you and he are friends, it might also have put the edge in her voice.

It all seems odd. I hope you'll keep everyone posted... I'm soooo curious what's going on.

rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 6:39am
Raining - thanks for your response. I know, I definitely feel that there is something weird about this whole thing. I did speak (actually e-mail) a mutual friend from our usual after-work crowd, and he did get a call from her telling the details of the party (time/place/etc.) but also asking *him* to contact the work crowd. I mentioned to mutual friend that I got a call from her too, and he seemed a bit surprised. I wonder why she just didn't ask him to call me...

Anyway, as it turns out, I probably won't be able to go to the party after all, H and I have a surprise 60th the same day that will interfere somewhat time-wise. I just have a weird feeling about going, so I think I'll just decline.

Now my question is: Do I call her and say I can't make it, or call mutual friend and have him convey the message to her? Etiquette-wise, I think I should call, since she called me, and I don't want it to look odd on my part. Any thoughts???

Thanks! :)

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 10:18am
Smart girl.. if it feels hinky stay away -- far away. In case there isn't anything strange going on, I'd call her and politely decline. You need to act like it's no big deal. You may even diminish any possible 'suspicious fishing' she could be doing.