One Last Hoorah?
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One Last Hoorah?
| Tue, 02-17-2004 - 3:01pm |
Hi all, so this Friday I'm supposed to see my MM at a hotel! Not a cheap and tawdry by the hour place but a really nice suite he is getting for the weekend. Though I will only be able to see him one night and I don't think I'll be staying over. I am so excited, and nervous and scared, and guilty (isn't that always my problem?) MM and I were involved in a show together that gave us legitimate excuses to see each other, that ended a week and half ago. I was supposed to stop seeing him after it ended, we had a tearful good-bye and everything (of course most people there were crying so it wasn’t inappropriate) but the very next day I called him and he came by my office to see me. I just couldn't handle not talking to him! I told him I wanted to try being "just friends" and since we've never had sex I thought maybe it was a possibility. It's been kind of working so far, but when I see him on Fri, at a hotel with a fireplace and he's making me dinner...He really knows how to do romance, I really don't know how “just friends” will hold up.
But this will also be the first time I've really had to lie to my B/F about where I’m going to be and with who. It has really been eating me up all week I feel so bad because he is so loving and trusting and I'm betraying him! I really want to see my MM but I hate lying and deceiving my B/F. I am thinking that I am going to have to end my R or my A because I can't keep going like this, I'll give myself ulcers or an aneurysm for god's sake! I want to see MM this Friday really because I want to know what it's like to spend one evening with him free from the constraints of other people, or the car which until now is the only place we've been able to be alone. Up until now we’ve only had a few stolen moments, brief encounters, public get togethers with friends and phone conversations. I want to have an incredible night to remember. So here's what I'm wondering, has anyone been able to end an A on a high note after "One Last Hoorah" I guess, or am I being delusional to think that a grand finale will give me any sort of closure?
But this will also be the first time I've really had to lie to my B/F about where I’m going to be and with who. It has really been eating me up all week I feel so bad because he is so loving and trusting and I'm betraying him! I really want to see my MM but I hate lying and deceiving my B/F. I am thinking that I am going to have to end my R or my A because I can't keep going like this, I'll give myself ulcers or an aneurysm for god's sake! I want to see MM this Friday really because I want to know what it's like to spend one evening with him free from the constraints of other people, or the car which until now is the only place we've been able to be alone. Up until now we’ve only had a few stolen moments, brief encounters, public get togethers with friends and phone conversations. I want to have an incredible night to remember. So here's what I'm wondering, has anyone been able to end an A on a high note after "One Last Hoorah" I guess, or am I being delusional to think that a grand finale will give me any sort of closure?
Mack

hey mack -- i totally agree with karen.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board