Open and Pleased

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2009
Open and Pleased
2
Sat, 08-22-2009 - 12:48pm

My husband and I have been married 7 years, I was 22 when we married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Sun, 08-23-2009 - 10:00pm
It's great that you've settled on an arrangement that, seemingly, you're both satisfied with - but both of you need to take care to avoid "wanting out" with your respective APs. No matter who you're with, you'll want to have adventures - it's just part of your persona. So you're better off staying with a man who understands your desires - i.e. your H, who is a rare and valuable find given your persona - rather than go off with another who may turn out to be less tolerant of this.
I understand that it's risky, but perhaps you should try to be more communicative, else you are hiding part of your life from H, and he from you. If you could freely speak to each other about your respective lovers and adventures that would help solidify emotional ties and mutual trust.
I once had a live-in GF who took on a lover when I was absent on business. When I returned, she was unwilling to dump the OM, so I gave the "open relationship" thing a try. It went surprisingly well for us, in part because we were completely open and honest with each other - she could tell me everything - a lot more than what she could tell the OM - so emotionally we became closer and more attached. I was surprised not to feel jealous; sex with her intensified and become more enjoyable (perhaps I put more effort and attention to it knowing that I wanted to compare favorably with the OM). Eventually the OM realized he was not getting anywhere with her, so he dumped her and we returned to a more "normal" relationship.
W.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2009
Mon, 08-24-2009 - 7:17pm

W,


Believe me I realize my husband is the perfect man for me.