Opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Opinions
48
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 3:27pm
Okay, there seems to be some criticism and negativity about affairs here...imagine that, on an AFFAIR SUPPORT BOARD, but whatever. What I would like to know is, which do you think is the lesser of two evils...two married people having an affair with no intention of leaving their spouses...just out for a good time playing around for as long as they can without getting caught, OR, two married people who are really in love with each other and would like to leave their spouses because they tired of the sneaking around and lying but are trying to figure out the right time and way to end their marriages? What is the difference between the two affairs? :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 11:38pm
Wow...you described the difference perfectly, thank you! Sometimes it's so hard to find the exact words you are trying to describe a situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 11:41pm
Scu72, I believe MrsSmithandJones described what I was TRYING to say to get my point across. I in no way intended to get brownie points for my situation. Like I said, ALL affairs are wrong, but there is a difference in them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 4:38pm

Thanks for chiming in. I totally relate and agree to your POV about these boards. I couldn't have said it better mesself!!!

BTW, to those who thinks my posts are harsh or judgmental. Let me assure you, I may be a little hash (depends on what post I'm responding to - sometimes someone really needs it....;) ) but I"m never judgmental. If I were, I wouldn't have had an A.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2008
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 5:13pm

i think there is a "lesser of two evils", I think the difference is:


1. The affair in which the 2 r both married and are sneaking around just having a good time but not trying to leave their spouses is less evil. I am old fashioned because I was brought up by mom and dad and won't have it any other way ( dad cheated on mom numerous times and they are still together and eventually he stopped, I thank them both for staying together no matter what).


2. The affair in which they are thinking about leaving the other spouse is evil and will back fire because the other will always think the other will end up cheating and leaving the other.. oh boy do I make sense, seems like i have confused myself..hehehe lol!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 5:50pm

"A true friend is that bit more special than a good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts their own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any scrutiny or criticism. They will come forward to help without any demands and be with us in times of need without showing it or expecting anything in return."


This I think sums up the boards nicely. :) It is my belief that people on here become true friends, and offer their support generously to all that truly need it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 8:58am

yes i know you wish this thread would die but i am compelled to add one other observation/opinion.

posters who want to take the hard line are fond of saying that all opinions are entitled and OP (original poster) should select what works for them and ignore the rest.

but does that mean that all posts require a response? even if you don't "get" what the OP conveyed, do you have to post something hostile that says - essentially - "i'm not answering your question because your means of expression is stupid"? personally, i throw that response in the passive-aggressive pile and wonder how many lurkers don't want to put themselves up to the same scrutiny.

my point: just as responses can be ignored, so can original posts. if you don't understand the OP and it's more than a minor correction, don't say anything if you can't say something welcoming and/or actually helpful.

and i know i have added more than 2 cents but it's still small change.
Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 10:58am

Can't agree with you more.


If someone posts something that just isn't clear - I would hope folks would ask questions that draw that person out and make the situation more clear for everyone - not try to make them feel badly for their means of expression.


I think sometimes those of us in the good ole USA think that this board and any others on iVillage - are only full of English speaking Americans - and that couldn't be further from the truth.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
In reply to: gabby4ever2
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 1:35pm
Well said!! In many cultures the rules are very different. And English is not the spoken language. Actually the "English" we used here is quite different in other countries!! I have been told that translation programs do not "get" much of the emotional content.
As far as A's are concerned: the people involved and the cultures that they come from dictate the emotional effect.
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