Opinions, please....
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Opinions, please....
| Tue, 01-06-2004 - 10:28pm |
Hello all...I posted a few times several months back, but I'm currently in a different situation at the moment and would like some honest opinions and input. I am married (13 years) no kids, and for the past 4 months have been messing around with another married man (7 years), also no kids. I am 38, he is 40. The reason I say "messing around" is because he will not have any kind of intercourse whatsoever with me. We come very close to doing it, but then he pulls back and ends up saying something like "No, we can't do that...it would be cheating". Apparently, he is a devout follower of the "Bill Clinton Rules"...if there ain't penetration, it ain't cheatin'! Personally, I think this is a crock...but that's just my opinion. Two married people, completely naked, groping each other constitutes cheating in my eyes...and probably most everybody else's eyes too. I don't quite know what to make of this situation. I really enjoy being with him, but if we are never going to have sex of any kind, I'm not sure I can or even want to continue. Does that make sense? To me it's like "What's the point?" Is there anybody else currently in this type of A? Don't get me wrong...when OM and I are together, we have lots of fun, and we both thoroughly enjoy it...but I can't help thinking about having sex with him. What do you think is really going on inside his head that would make him act like this?
Bfly

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Bfly
Dos he have sexual proformance issues (probblems).
It sounds like it is just fun and games for him and he has no intention of letting it go any farther, Intercourse can introduce real fellings at times even for some men.
Free
You MM is having fun from an EMA but I guess he would feel guilty if he does penetrate you. It is self denial 'cos he should know whatever he does with you, whether going out to dinner, holding hands behind his W's back is 'cheating' no matter how he wants to sugarcoat it. FREE is right on one point, maybe he is afraid that he may become too serious with you once there is sex. I know that my MM is more emotionally attached to me after we slept together. He calls me daily to checkup on me and I thought at first that he was doing it so we can continue to have sex. But he hasn't pushed for any. We would continue to have lunch and sometimes make out in the car after that. It was 3 months after our first time together before we made love again. We just enjoyed each other's company and respect our territories.
Let me ask you, since you're naked with him in bed, have you given him any oral sex ? If yes, then he is another Clinton. i.e. having the desire to cheat but coward enough not to live up to a full EMA.
You should have an honest talk with him if you feel that you're good friends.
Good luck !!In my opinion, an EMA is only worth it if you're honest with each other and truly care for each other. I call mine an affair 'cos my BF is a MM but I'm single myself.
Bfly
Bfly
I think you should remember that it is FRIENDS WITH BENIFITS and if you friend is only comfartable going so far then mybe you should accept him the way he is and not push.
All I have to say is make sure you get as much out of the friendship as you put in.
Free
Bfly
Bfly
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