Opinions, please....
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Opinions, please....
| Tue, 01-06-2004 - 10:28pm |
Hello all...I posted a few times several months back, but I'm currently in a different situation at the moment and would like some honest opinions and input. I am married (13 years) no kids, and for the past 4 months have been messing around with another married man (7 years), also no kids. I am 38, he is 40. The reason I say "messing around" is because he will not have any kind of intercourse whatsoever with me. We come very close to doing it, but then he pulls back and ends up saying something like "No, we can't do that...it would be cheating". Apparently, he is a devout follower of the "Bill Clinton Rules"...if there ain't penetration, it ain't cheatin'! Personally, I think this is a crock...but that's just my opinion. Two married people, completely naked, groping each other constitutes cheating in my eyes...and probably most everybody else's eyes too. I don't quite know what to make of this situation. I really enjoy being with him, but if we are never going to have sex of any kind, I'm not sure I can or even want to continue. Does that make sense? To me it's like "What's the point?" Is there anybody else currently in this type of A? Don't get me wrong...when OM and I are together, we have lots of fun, and we both thoroughly enjoy it...but I can't help thinking about having sex with him. What do you think is really going on inside his head that would make him act like this?
Bfly

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I can totally identify with your situation since my MM and I went through a similar phase in our R. He and I have been the best of friends for over a decade. I'm going to say that he and I have been having an emotional affair for years, although neither of us acknowledged this fact until about a year ago. Our R became physical about 8 months ago and for awhile MM would not go "all the way" with me, although we did plenty of other things minus clothing. I completely understand your frustration because when that was my own situation, I wanted nothing more than to actually have IC with MM because I wanted to experience that level of intimacy with the man I loved. However, I had to accept that I was involved with a MM (I'm single, btw) and I needed to respect what he was comfortable with. I am his first (and hopefully only) affair and he needed time to resolve within his own mind what he was actually doing. I willingly gave him that time because the last thing I wanted was for him to regret any of the intimacy he and I shared. After a couple of months he realized that IC was just another level to us and since he already stepped into this A and he truly loved me, why not "go all the way" with me. Each encounter with him is awesome, and so worth the wait.
Best wishes to you.
Annika
Brightest Blessings, Annika
Well, I guess I also am in the same kind of situation. But the only thing is, we are not that close yet, and all he ever wants to talk about is sex, sex, sex! But when the time came that we finally almost did it. He just backed off! He said he felt guilty, and he needed time... If you happen to have some time you can check out my whole story that I've just recently posted, entitled I NEED HELP. I am also confused and I'm so sorry if I cant give you any opinion, I just wanted to tell you that I am also "almost" in the same kind of situation.
Kisses!
Hazel2004
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