Other people's love life's....
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Other people's love life's....
| Thu, 06-25-2009 - 12:50am |
It seems to me because I am surrounded by people that have happy relationships and are in love it makes it more difficult for me.
Have any of you had a problem with this as well?
I mean I have people in my life that have been together for YEARS, some even DECADES... and yet they're still so much in love, they have spark.
It hurts like hell to be around them knowing that that is what I want... and I can't seem to find it... I always seem to be the "third wheel" (esp. when I am out with these couples, and I'm the third wheel... the ironic thing is that I am the third wheel in this "relationship/affair" too!)

most of the relationships around me aren't crazy love with spark. Take my parents, for example. They've been married 47 years, impressive no? I'm not impressed. They are as different as different can be. He's got a solid head on his shoulders and a quick wit, she's dry and flighty. The almost got divorced when I was a kid, then decided to stay together for the sake of the kids. I think for a while, they might have been happy after that, but not long. Mostly, they've decided that they took these vows, so that is that. Now my mom is a very, very difficult person due to illness. He's overwhelmed, she's impossible. He's stuck and he's very unhappy. Yet he keeps pointing to their marriage as the pattern to follow. Maybe if I grew up with affectionate parents, who were affectionate with each other and with us kids, I'd see them differently. But they weren't then, and they aren't now. How on earth I turned out to be a very affectionate person is beyond me.
Then there are my IL's. His mom and step dad. They've been married 22 years. They are nasty to each other all the time. She acts the same way my h does and it makes him crazy. How on earth they are still married, I dunno. But sure not who I wanna pattern my life after.
And his dad? OH, she left him for her boss (or so the story goes) and she is quite happy with her new man (of about 8 years now). He's a grumpy old man who doesn't follow through with anything and has never even met our 6 year old. Not who I wanna pattern our life after.
My bro and his wife, well, lets just say it's amazing they haven't killed each other yet, literally. That is the most hostile marriage ever, hands down.
I could go on and on, these are the marriages around me. These people aren't happy, they are existing. I don't wanna exist, I wanna be happy. Is that too much to ask?
You're looking only at the surface.
Statistically, half of all marriages end in divorce. Of the other half that continue, my theory is that half of those people stay in them because it's too much trouble and upheaval, socially and financially, to get out of them. Of the remaining 25 percent still married I'll bet half are fairly happy, and the other half, are very happy. So about 1/8 of all marriages are "happy." Maybe even fewer.
A friend of mine's parents are "celebrating" their 50th anniversary this weekend. They haven't been "happy" and in love with each other for at least 30 of those years. In fact, I don't think they even like each other. So why are they playing the charade of a 50th wedding anniversary? All that social pressure. What a laugh.
I just don't think you can judge how happy a marriage is based on what a marriage looks like from the outside.
I knew that you all would say statistically they're not all happy, that is only on the surface.
i have seen very 'in love' people holding throats after a few years of M but holding hands and kissing in public.so,dont go by what you see.
Here's the thing...we look at those unhappily married and we pity them in our mind for staying there for whatever reasons.
LIT...come on, girl
You know you hold the key to a happy and loving, all-to-yourself relationship.