the other woman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2011
the other woman
Sat, 08-25-2012 - 1:30am

so we  (me n ap) chatted tonight, lengthly, openly. He went out with somone else (who we both know) for coffee - she was wanting them to have a 'relationship' though knowing he married....she newly single - very newly like last weekend newly.  She is never single.   She is pretty, fit, nice......possibly bipolar, depressive. Obviously he is attracted to her and they have flirted and talked and have a certain chemistry.  from the conversations they had  of recent she is making a hard play for him.  He is trying to tell her that she needs sometime to get her head sorted and not have a guy in her life to complicate things, plus reminds her that he is in a relationship (lmfao), he asked me for some advice how to handle situation since she not mentally stable.   He is doing fine i think.  He says he trusts me and wanted me to know where he went last night.  

I totally appreciate his trust and openess.  Though i feel a little , ummm i guess - threatened slightly by her looming presence at least he was honest about his feelings ..... feel so at ease with him, we talk about things that couples can't and make each other smile and laugh.   I understand him in some ways.  He is totally loyal to family but a little loose on the field ;p   We are becoming good friends.  There has been no bjs in at least 4 months i think but we have talked more.....and o f couurse flirted profusely.  We have exchanged numbers and respect boundaries. yadayadayada

Had real good chat tonight, of course wished was more but bonding is also joyous.   can't help this underlying feeling of jealousy though i know i have no right.....i have to keep cool and we will see what happens.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sat, 08-25-2012 - 2:57pm

I think it is hard to deal with sometimes because as APs, we don't have a real claim on the person.  When I was M, if my H would tell me about women hitting on him, I'd be fine with it because he was mine.  I had a claim on him in life, and even if he fooled around or something, I was the person he was l living life with everyday.

XAP and I were pretty open about stuff, as you are your AP are.  Sometimes it was good because we were being real with each other, but it got really hard for both of us I think.  It just got confusing and messy and hurtful eventually.