out of the house

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
out of the house
9
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:04am
Well, I moved out yesterday. That easily replaces any prior entries to the contest as the hardest day of my life.

All in all it went ok. The W was better than I expected, insisted on packing a few things to help, and really still wants to try to work things out. I told her I didn't know if that was possible, but that I did know I couldn't do it while I was there; her recent run of trying to "fix" things has led to her smothering me and me running from her, and I was pretty sure that tension wasn't going to improve our chances.

By the time I got stuff together to get by for the night, she'd actually told me that she figured I was right, that I usually was about making hard decisions. She was pretty civil and decent about things, and there really hasn't been anything said that can't be taken back so far. It's kind of tough this morning because we work together and we decided we didn't want to get other people involved in this until we had some time to calm down.

The OW is kind of strange about it. Upbeat, but still very concerned since I didn't move directly into her place. To everyone who suggested I find this in between place, thanks; you probably saved my sanity.

Still, this really sucks.


rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:30am
Rain, I just went through the moving out thing last weekend, and yes it does suck - big time. Regardless of the reasons why any of us leave, it still stinks. I'll be thinking of you and supporting your decision throughout this hard time in your life. You'll be in my thoughts.

NRY

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:39am
I will be in your shoes soon. Hopefully I will be able to draw on this board support. I am glad things went well with the wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:45am
Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you.

Take care,

Red

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 11:07am
rain...

You are also in my thoughts. Even though it sucks, I think you'll be able to finally BREATHE...

BK

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 11:07am
I'm sure it was a very difficult thing to do, but I'm also sure that it was the right thing for you to do. Now you will have the space you need to get perspective on your relationships and make decisions that you know you can live with. There are still tough times ahead, but I think you'll be just fine.

Hang in there. Remember we're thinking of you.

GB2

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 11:18am
Rain,

I'm so glad to hear you made it through moving day. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been. The fact that your W helped you pack I'm sure was a mixed blessing. It is good she is being civil, but that also tends to put doubts in your head too. You start thinking, "Hey, she isn't so bad, maybe I can stay with her". Or you wonder if you imagined all the problems that led you to this point. But don't be fooled. You know that those problems are real and that they do exist. If you decide you want to try to work through things with your W, you will have a long road ahead. I certainly think that is an option, but don't think for a second you can just go back home and everything will be okay.

I do hope things work out with your OW as she does seem like someone you would really be able to build something wonderful with. But even if it doesn't work, don't automatically think everything is over. In a lot of ways, your new life has just begun. Whatever it holds, be true to yourself. If you do that, everything will work out in the long run. I'm here for you man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 12:20pm
Rain, wish I could come up with some amazing bit of advice or consolutory words...like you always seem to do for everyone on this board. You have an amazing ability in providing insight to others, and I am sure that now that you are on your own and have space to breath and think you will be able to find that same powerful insight for yourself -- even more than you have already.

I wish you all the best and appreciate all that you have given me and others on this board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 2:33pm
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.... or so says the song. But honey, you have taken the hardest step. You are so brave! I wish all the happiness you truly deserve. We're here if you need support. Saturday
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 2:54pm
Rain ~ I wish you the bestest of luck and hope everything works out exactly how you want!

HUGS

MGT