your situation is somewhat familiar to me as I also have been involved for 20 years. I don't have any good advice, but I can feel your pain. My AP is constantly struggling with guilt so I am always on the end of it maybe over, which is where I amtoday and it hurts and there is no easy way when you truly love someone. Hang in there maybe things will work out for you as they have for 20 years. there is something that has kept it going that long. Hugs to you and this forum always has some good advice. Hope everything goes well for you.
I'm sorry if I'm wrong here, but you sound like your fishing to start an affair with a board member. 20 years and you have not one ounce of sadness other than you'll be losing the sex?? You have to announce you're "big"? And the name- "good guy john"- who are you fooling?! And why the multiple ways to contact you? This post just sounds off to me.
I DID say in my post that I could not see myself starting anything new - and it would take months, if not years, for me to have the same type of trust I have now. So, no, meeting
Good guy (and I believe you are), please accept my apology for my unfounded accusations. I guess I was in a mood or something that jaded my reading of your post. I don't have any advice, but I truly hope you find happiness.
I "get" where you're coming from as far as trusting, history, etc. The only comment I have an issue with is the, as you called it, "thrill" you get from being in "his bed" with "his wife". Look, anyone who has had an affair is guilty, no doubt. But it's kind of, for lack of a better word, icky that one of the biggest things you like about the affair, the thrill if you will, is that you're participating in the betrayal against her husband. Not cool, dog. Most of us on here aren't exactly proud of that part of it.
I will, though, give you kudos in at least being frank and honest, even if it was distasteful (IMHO).
Sorry Mr. Good guy, but sometimes its not going to be all about you. You have been extremely lucky to have had this woman feed your ego for so long.
Your message talked alot about your ego feed and your love of sneaking around. Undoubtedly you will also miss that excitement as well.
If I was a betting woman and I am, I am betting that you are going to HAVE to replace her and yes you will spend the rest of your days thinking about what you did have because no NEW woman is ever going to be comparable to the one you had.
Your trying to make your wife go the extra mile makes me laugh - you knew what you were getting when you signed up. Now deal with it.
And perhaps you should think about getting a divorce so your need to run around does not crush your wife in the end.
Was your affair just a sexual one. No where in your post did you say you loved her. Maybe i missed it. If i did i am sorry. My affair lasted 10yrs. He is now engaged to someone. I often wonder if it was more than sex.
Wow, John...20 years?
I can understand your anxiety about ending things with MW.
Sorry...I did not mean to sound "off".
I DID say in my post that I could not see myself starting anything new - and it would take months, if not years, for me to have the same type of trust I have now. So, no, meeting
GGJ...
I "get" where you're coming from as far as trusting, history, etc. The only comment I have an issue with is the, as you called it, "thrill" you get from being in "his bed" with "his wife". Look, anyone who has had an affair is guilty, no doubt. But it's kind of, for lack of a better word, icky that one of the biggest things you like about the affair, the thrill if you will, is that you're participating in the betrayal against her husband. Not cool, dog. Most of us on here aren't exactly proud of that part of it.
I will, though, give you kudos in at least being frank and honest, even if it was distasteful (IMHO).
Sorry Mr. Good guy, but sometimes its not going to be all about you. You have been extremely lucky to have had this woman feed your ego for so long.
Your message talked alot about your ego feed and your love of sneaking around. Undoubtedly you will also miss that excitement as well.
If I was a betting woman and I am, I am betting that you are going to HAVE to replace her and yes you will spend the rest of your days thinking about what you did have because no NEW woman is ever going to be comparable to the one you had.
Your trying to make your wife go the extra mile makes me laugh - you knew what you were getting when you signed up. Now deal with it.
And perhaps you should think about getting a divorce so your need to run around does not crush your wife in the end.
When I was single