The pain...it's unbearable

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
The pain...it's unbearable
40
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 9:12pm

I've posted a few times here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 12:40pm

thanks but before i go -

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actually i am well aware of both situations and here is the difference: you, BTrue, Rodeogirl and Snowstorm have not put hundreds of posts on AS that bash and demean AP. i would provide the links but i'm on my way out of here - they are easy enough to search for on your own. had i only encountered Clarity on this board, i would have a totally different perspective. just so happens my participation on these boards is longer than my name and i forget little.

as for today, i don't feel welcome at all.

autremoi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 7:37pm

Nice to see you post autremoi--you always impressed me with your clear eyed straight to the point advice.
Its a shame the Board has changed so much...if you ever need to talk shoot me an email i have a few friends from MAS before it went Wild Wild West...we chat on yahoo and support each other.

Cl - Tyger, Btrue, Snowstorm rodeogirl and Company as always you are all the voice of reason and wisdom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 7:55pm

thanks for that. i opened my email since i could not send anything to you. please do use it.

autremoi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 8:11pm
Will do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 8:38pm

Nice to see you Autremoi.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 10:38pm

Hi Tgr,


Thanks for your response!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Mon, 01-05-2009 - 12:55pm

Hi there PDW -


I hope you are doing better today - but I know that this is a huge struggle for you.


You know how my situation has turned out - so I'll admit to being somewhat biased - but I wanted to ask you a couple questions.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 01-05-2009 - 8:52pm

Hi PDW. I haven't posted on this board in quite some time. I was in an A for about 3 years. My AP left his M and is now living with me. I have to say that your fears are not totally unfounded regarding his children. I know people will say that if a man wants to be with you he will do whatever he needs to. Well, a man that loves his children will do whatever he needs to to be with them as well. We are doing ok and things are up and down but his children are a huge source of pain for him. He tries to do what he thinks is best but they are in pain. All they want is their dad at home with them and they don't really care if he is happy being with their mom or not. He has been told that by his son. It hurts him that they are hurting and I feel bad that he gets upset.

I know that he is where he wants to be but this is a very difficult path. I do love waking up and seeing his face every morning. It is fabulous going out together to do things with all our friends and being fully public with him (that started almost a year ago and it still amazes me how great it feels). We are happy and I hope that we make it but like all R it takes work and moreso than many others because we have the A to overcome. Obviously older children will be aware of the situation so that makes things harder too. I think most importantly that they need to know their dad loves them and hopefully in time it will improve.

Tiger my friend, I'm so encouraged by your news. It took you a long time to get to this point but I'm glad to see that you did. I guess at some point a stubborn child will get the hint. Consistency is key.

We are happy together. We have fun together and really want this to work. All that lies in our wake is difficult to take on some days. He is very aware of how much pain he has caused and it hurts him.

What

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 9:51pm

Hi What,


I really appreciate your input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2009
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 10:29pm

I understand exactly where you are.

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