pathetic me----talk some sense into me..
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| Fri, 07-16-2010 - 9:52am |
I still haven't heard a word from him since Sunday.
I am still just in disbelief and keep crying. I just can't believe he did this to me (I know, I should be able to believe he did this to me).
I deleted his number and removed him from facebook. Now part of me is just desperately pathetically wanting to send one LAST message. I just want an answer! I just want a response!
How can he work every day at the place where our entire A happened and not contact me? There must be reminders of me EVERYWHERE!
I just want to hear from him. But I know that if i messaged him on facebook, he would probably just ignore me which would just hurt that much more. Help!
I don't understand why after everything he said, how excited he was for our overnight, after all the times he reassured me he would tell me if he wanted it to end, how could he do this?!!!!!!!
The only way I've been managing is by taking it one day at a a time and trying to keep myself busy. I just wait for my BF to come home at night but our evenings are so brief because he works late and he won't be back until late tonight.
So I'm lonely with too much time on my hands. I get my hopes up around the times when he used to usually text me. I had to turn off my text message sound because every time I heard it, my hopes went up.
I still don't know whether I just want this to be all over and in the past or whether I want him to come back and apologize and make it up to me.
I don't feel quite determined enough to trek over firmly to EAS so I'm still hovering here.
I still just can't believe it. These 4 1/2 days have just been excruciating.

Ok girl...he's a fool and you know it. You need to be done with it. He was for fun. You have a BF who if you don't shape up is going to start to wonder what the hell is wrong with you. Do you want to lose him too? You gotta put your game face on. Make plans, go out with the girls and take of yourself. You wouldn't want him now anyway would you? he's a total wuss. How uncool, unacceptable and frankly unsexy. Why do you spend your time thinking about this SPINELESS man? Even if he does contact you now don't you DARE respond. He is dead to you. You are gone gone gone.
How'd I do? ;)
c
I can tell you that when we went nc, it was hard for both of us. And he would text or email, and I'd ignore it, and it killed me. If he could have just kept silent, it wouldn't have hurt me so much. But then, I responded, and he responded to that and by the end of the day, we were meeting at the park to talk....
what I'm saying is, leave him alone. Don't text, don't call, don't email, don't make any communication effort at all, and ignore any that comes from him. Just know that this is hard for him, too. He is at work where all the reminders are, and it's killing him. Find comfort in knowing this is hard for him, too.
Now, make a plan, get your stuff together and enjoy your bf, or you will lose him. Would you leave him if he was seeing another woman? Walk a minute in his shoes, then make a decision, get it together and make your relationship work or get out. Be fair to him, it's time for that. If you have too much time on your hands, do something about it. Get a job, take a class, take up a hobby, do something with that time that betters you. UP UP UP with you, don't sit and ponder ap, get up and get moving!
What Chechi2007 said, word for word. I don't quite understand your disbelief.
Ok Lucy...for real this time...
I have a question for you...is it really "him"? Or is just the plain ol' rejection of it. Rejection totally sucks!! But if you can identify why you are so upset it helps. Was he really such an amazing person?...apparently not. BUT we can ALL identify with how sh!tty the rejection of someone is.
I know I have to remind myself this of AP sometimes. It's not like he's this really amazing person. He's got major issues clearly! He's cheating on a beautiful wife and kids. He is neurotic as hell. Makes me so mad!! Not as sweet as my H or as cool or even successful. He's kind of an ass!! LOL. But it drives me crazy when I feel like he ignores me or is apathetic about "us" .
You'll feel better when you can reject him back. That day will come. Make sure you are ready for it. They always do.
chech
I feel for you Lucy and I know your hurting. I do agree with all the other postings that you should keep busy like a hobby, going out with friends, taking up a course. Something that would occupy your time so not to give him so much of your precious energy.
His silence is speaking volumnes-A person is not a friend that demands your silence. This is so true and I hope you have the strength to keep your head up and move forward. I know its easier said then done but maybe it will be easier for you to let him go this way. I know your looking for some sort of closure but even if he did contact you, what could he possibly say? If you take him back he can always do this again, again & again. Your heart shattered 100 times over. There are no rules in these A's and a good % of the time one of us gets our hearts broken.
Get it together girl! You are better then this and there is someone deserving of you.
Wishing you all the best...HUGS!
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
<
i went for a jog and cleared my head. the day is beautiful and i am going to keep busy and have a wonderful night with my BF!
Lucy, I can only imagine how bad you feel. It is a horrible way for a R to end. Your AP is a selfish man. If he wanted a quick break up, he could have just send you a text saying that your A had to end. It wouldn't make you feel much better, but at least you would know that it is over. Stay strong, stay busy, and don't let him ruin your life. He is not important, you are!
Hugs
Findfreedom
All I can do is offer you more ((((hugs)))) lucy.
anotherseyes