A penny for your thoughts please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
A penny for your thoughts please!!
3
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 12:42pm
Hello Again :)


Ok, well this is kind of an update since I last posted...from yesterday!!lol

I normally talk to my SM(Separated Man) about 4 times a day. I know, he calls alot...lol He had his tattoo of his wife's name covered-up, which was a shock to me, because normally he tells me about major things he's going to do, and then he starts to tell me that he's set up an appointment today with an attorney to find out about filing for legal separation and possibly divorce :o/, which was even more of a shock to me, considering it came out of nowhere. See...he's asked his wife a number (about 7 times) of times since their separation about 3 months ago to just sit down and talk to him on what her feelings where on their marriage, but he always gets the same answer from her which is " Get over it, we are done, there's nothing to talk about anymore" and not only that...but when they first split-up, she mentioned to him that she thought it was a good idea to go seek counseling, to help them make the break-up easier, but he thought that was reticules and refused to do that, but yet she hasn't filed for divorce, because she claims that she doesn't want to do it over the holidays and her B-day is coming up, and she doesn't want to be reminded every X-mas of their divorce. The problem is, he see's it as...a sign of hope that she hasn't filed yet. Do you think he's just in denial, or do you think maybe she is just confused and doesn't know what she wants at this point?? BTW they have kids together...he has them half the week and she has them them the other half, so they share custody.

Anyway, can someone share their input please...I know your not mind readers, just humor me on your thoughts...thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 1:34pm
Well..it sounds like she's pretty sure. But I must say, if I wanted a D, I wouldn't care what season it was. That's just me. It also sounds like he's in denial. No advice...but hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:24pm
I'm doing the same thing as his wife. I DO NOT want to file for divorce during the holidays. For one I can't afford it and for another I have a 3 year old. I want to have on e last holiday together. Sounds strange but I want me and H to be friends. Your MM is in DENIAL!!!!! Tell him to get on with it!!!!! He'll come around. My H is still in denial.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:59pm
Hummm, well I just talked to MM a few minutes ago, and he said that he just talked to his wife on the phone and she started crying and saying that she doesnt see any change in him, and that he isnt a real man blah blah blah....and so on. But the reason she hasent filed for D also is because she cant afford it right now...Why is she crying, if she's the one who keeps throwing the BIG D word around, ugh!!!!

Gawd, I hate being in limbo..I wish this was all over with already, but I think your all right when you say he's in DENIAL...I keep thinking that there might be a good chance that they will work this out, but I think I only say that because I want to protect myself from the the hurt if I ever do recieve that phone call saying they decided to give it another shot, even thou deep down inside I know that he would be doing it all for the wrong reasons.

Help, Support team needed ...AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH