Pensive One, are you out there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Pensive One, are you out there?
43
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 12:00pm
hey pensive - whew girl, it took me all morning to go through all the "why did i want to believe him" thread! you guys were rocking! talk about free speech and all, that was great.


Edited 2/17/2004 2:52:29 PM ET by gurlfriend50
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 2:33pm
I just don't get why people pretend their M is so happy unless they delude themselves into thinking it is. Or maybe they are happy in it 80% of the time or something. Who knows? I would not lie and say my M is happy, it isn't!! There are problems but I'm going to stick around and see if it will work out somehow. anyways, I'm basically in a good mood anyways after the last couple of days. On the uphill ride of the rollercoaster again!! take care,

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 2:33pm
dusty, i have to agree with "not getting any=huge". theres only so many times you can be rejected sexually by an alcoholic husband. i know my h has no clue how important acceptance is, even tho i've told him repeatedly. then mm comes along and wants you every chance he gets, the ego boost is amazing. 15 yrs of drunken rejection has at times totally destroyed my self esteem. once i starved till i weighed 106 and my hair started falling out, this didnt get me any more attention or sex. in a demented sort of way im grateful to mm for being attracted to me. make sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 2:37pm
dusty, you've answered your own question girl!! you're definitely not happy with your H but you're sticking around, hoping some of the issues in your M get resolved. and that's what most married people do. stick around and hope the R gets better. but most people don't put any effort into making changes for the better and/or working on themselves and the R. what's that saying -- the known fear is much better than the unknown one!!

and here's my favorite -- "change is death!" i don't feel that way, but i'll bet 90% of people do!!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 2:39pm
of course it makes sense daizey -- we ALL want attention from the ones we love and when we can't/don't get it, sometimes we go overboard trying!! i hope you are past the starving for attention syndrome. i haven't seen 106 lbs since middle school!!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 2:40pm
It makes total sense to me. It is SO nice to have someone who appreciates your interest in sex and reciprocates it totally!! And adores your body and wants to know exactly what you like, what a difference!! I am totally "addicted". If H even cared to know HALF of what MM knows about what I like!! But begging, crying and screaming did me no good. I started to get a skin condition caused by stress and would scratch, scratch my hands and arms and legs until I was bleeding!!! It was bad. I feel alot more calm most days now.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 2:44pm
dsuty, when i was married i had that same condition!! must be the men we were/are married to -- an allergic reaction!!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 2:54pm
That is hilarious!! Actually true I think. With 1st H is when I first developed it really bad. Then when I got D, it disappeared!! Now with H #2, its come back with a vengeance!! Dam those men!!
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 3:01pm
Hey are you serious??? Its kind of like the itch the
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 3:31pm
Well I'm trying to get it under control but its still pretty bad. Its eczema by the way. Stress induced probably. I have several Rx creams to use but the itching drives me mad!! Especially if H is drinking and we are arguing or something then I'm just scratching like crazy, it just flares right up. What can you do? Just live with it for now!!

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 3:36pm
I think its the stress or it may be the allergies. Sorry you have be in such a situation. Why do you live with H if he stress you out so much? People with addiction problems rarely change.