personal conflict and turmoil
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personal conflict and turmoil
| Wed, 11-12-2008 - 10:34pm |
My ap seems to be feeling so much inner conflict and turmoil. A lot has been going on in his personal life that is very emtional. We met on monday, he told me of his problems and fights with his wife. The problems in his marriage have created conflict with in hisself. I seen it today. He stopped by to see his buddy. I parked his car off to the side so I would and wouldn't notice it.I struggled with in myself for about 30 minutes to decide wether I should call him, I did. He said he was busy, but made time for lunch. It turned into a 2 hour lunch. We talked more of his marriage. His wife told him she was taking the house, he told her he gets half her savings. He said it got very abusive. He called a friend and said he went out last night until 3am. He needed to get away. He said between losing his job and his home life, sometimes he needs space and doesn't want to talk to me. He said he never wants to dissapoint me or let me down, so he never tells me no. I told him, if you don't want to talk, just tell men send me an email, or an I'm saying today I need space. He's terrified ill take it personally and not understand. We all need time alone. Ill give him space. We talked of an email I sent him. I told him sometimes I wish I never told him ilu. He said he knew. He told me again tonite he always misses me and I hold a very specail place in ho heart, he does love me. He has so much conflict it creates pain in his heart. He shouldn't be feeling what he's feeling and needs some distance. He fights with himself to stay away, but can't.like today. He wanted to see me, but fought with himself not to.he says he doesn't want to burden me with all his problems. I told him I don't mind. I cried a little because I love him so much, it hurts. I don't want him to see my tears. He also showed me today where he had my cell number hidden in his phone. He's never, ever called it, but he has it.seems when men have pain and conflict, they pull away. My ap is terrified of ever letting me down. He doesn't have to prove anything to me.

I've read some of your threads, so I know some about your situation.
Tori,
I understand your concern for your AP.you must understand as well that he is in a very tough spot.all you can do is listen to him ,be supportive and advice where possible.The only thing it will result is in bringing you both closer and emotional bonded! and believe me, sex is amazing when one is vulnerable! An A will never help a M.
I agree with what Santoria wrote.
i know an affair doesn't help a marriage. sometimes it's so painful.