personal conflict turmioill part 2

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
personal conflict turmioill part 2
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 9:14pm
I messaged ap today, he got back to me. I really wanted not to contact him, just to leave him alone, needed him today. Between severe depression and bad pain in my cervic, I needed him. I waited 2 hours for him to get back to me, my last message said I need you today. He came on. He just got off the phone with his pastor, talking about his marriage, asking for help. His wife talked to him for 2 hours last night. He's very concerened about my pain and medical state. He either wants me to go to the er, or make a sooner dr appt.we talked about us. He's been wanting me to move out of my house for a while. He feels he strangling me where I can't move on. He told me I deserve more in life then the relationship I'm in.and an affair where I'm stiffled, where my heart is for him and I can't progress. He says he feels selfish doing this to me. I told him I need him and right now I don't want a committed relationship. I told him if I find him, ill let him know.I asked him if he's happy in this affair and he said yes, I told I am for now. I need a gentle, loving, sweet man in my life.neither of us are ready to walk away. We both admit its selfish, and we will take this affair to our grave. We need each other. He tod sometimes I can get a little freaky on him. I told him its because of the nature of the relationship. Sometimes I feel very insecure. It was a good call. We talked for an hour. I told these past 3 months is closest I've ever felt to him.we've talked about very personal stuff.