Pessimist?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Pessimist?
6
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 6:40am

Okay - so AP finally calls last night (I've stuck to cooling things down and backing off) and we talk for a few and he apologizes for all the junk he's put me through for the last couple of days, reassures me that he loves me and still wants to be with me

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: lellibee
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 8:01am

Maybe he acted like nothing was wrong because, in his mind, he simply made a comment (that you were always being a pessimist lately), didn't realize how "mean" he sounded, and to him it was no big deal? Sometimes we blow things up so big, and to him, it was nothing but a comment?

But, if you need support to stop yourself from e-mailing or texting, just hold on while I get my handcuffs... :-) And, oh yeah, xanax ridden squirrel food... :-)

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
In reply to: lellibee
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 11:26am

in the past, i've written pages to the AP, but only for myself, and never sent those out.. just the act of putting pencil on paper (somehow these always end up pencil on paper, I don't get the same affect from the screen)and seeing words appear and reading and re-reading, just for myself, helps..

keeping busy does too, in whatever form that may be.

as in most fights, the words, actions and reactions are symptoms.. the underlying cause is not you or him, but the circumstances you are in, and that neither of you can do anything about it.. until you get to a time and place where you can do something about it.. but for now.. nothing..

so.. make it easy on both yourself and him, and keep a low profile.. and keep busy elsewhere, and not in the world of your A..

and while lexi is getting handcuffs (borrowed from sex talk board maybe?), feel free to post here all the thoughts that are going through your mind, just for the sake of venting..
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: lellibee
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 11:44am

Thanks Lexi and Nevereasy,


I got an email from him a short time ago - and perhaps it was just a freudian slip - but in the midst of telling me how much he loved me and wanted to build a future with me he said "I am not wanting out of my life and I don't want to lose you."


that says it all really.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
In reply to: lellibee
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 12:21pm
OK.. just for sake of clarity, could he meant to type "i am not wanting YOU out of my life" ? Is that the freudian slip you are referring to? If so, does this mistake really take you to a place where you feel he's not on board with you? just trying to understand..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: lellibee
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 12:37pm
Trust me in that I am dearly praying that IS what he meant.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
In reply to: lellibee
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 2:41pm

hang in there.. you just gotta get to the other side of this, and then you'll know for sure.. i've been there in his shoes and it's as ambivelant as ever, and it always takes longer than either of you think.. surely not the easiest of circumstances two people can face.. best you can do in my view is to let go and be there for each other if and when possible, and make a concious effort/decision to let go of sweating the small stuff for good.

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