Phone sex update
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 10-31-2003 - 8:11am |
After I posted about his embarassment yesterday, I picked up the phone and called him. I was completely alone in the area I worked -- the people who work around me had all left for the day. And NO ONE ever comes down here. If they do, you can hear the door open. Maybe you know where I'm going with this... Anyway, so it's technically time for both of us to go but normally he leaves a little later than I do so I figured I had time. I told him that I wanted to remember what happened that morning as a good thing and, of course, he told me as you guys just did that I think too much and that it WAS a good thing. I asked him if he would feel better if it were even -- if we'd both done that -- and he said, "Definitely." Then he asked if I was aroused. (Not in that polite of terms...) I said yes and he asked if I was sure, if I'd checked. So I told him I'd checked. Well, you can imagine where it went from there but about two minutes into it, his phone rang. It was his wife, telling him she was here to pick him up. Talk about killing the mood. Anyway, I didn't get to talk to him about it so I have no idea what effect it had on him. It could have been tough for him to face W right after that, but I never know with him and, again, I guess I'm overthinking things. Was that horrible that I almost did that at work? He started it. I had no intention of doing that when I called him...just of talking to him one last time. I'm definitely going to remind him of it if things are okay with us today. (I always enter hesitantly into our first conversation of the day just in case he's all "wiggy," as I like to say.) I don't know if that will make him feel less embarassed. I can very clearly now see that we aren't ready for actual sex. He'd get all caught up in the moment and it would be INCREDIBLE, but afterward, he'd be the same as he was today, only worse. Guilt and embarassment that he'd bared his soul to me, basically, and all that. Even if he is "wiggy" today, I just have to remind myself that he'll get over it in time and be ready for the next step. There's no rush... I can totally see how he feels about being embarassed, though. If I'd gone through with it, even though he already had, I would feel a bit...EXPOSED is probably the best word. You just share so much of yourself when you do that, you open yourself up like you don't to anyone else in your life. Needless to say, H got a very nice surprise when we got home last night. I was so wound up I ended up playing sick to get out of going somewhere we were supposed to go so I could go home and have sex!

happy halloween!
jen
i don't know if i'm ever going to have th courage to get into an EMA with FWOB even if he made the first move and even if things with H turned way worse than what they are right now..