Unfortunately, I can't provide too much insight here. But if you guys are seeing each other at times and not having sex, I would guess that there is some emotion involved. I'm sorry about your husband. I'm sure that you are going through a lot right now and need an outlet in your life and this man may be it and a comfort to you. I wouldn't make any rash decisions either way. Take one day at a time.
IMHO ea is confiding in one another in a way one would confide in their S or SO.
pa can be strictly physical or physical with ea intertwined (this is where my AP and I are). We started as friends, then ea, pa, and now madly in love with one another.
Do you see a therapist to deal with your H's terminal illness?
I really do wish you luck in the not getting attached dept. I think it is sooo much easier said than done, esp with a terminal spouse at home. You (I would) are going to need someone to lean on and talk to...and who better than the person you are intimately involved with? It's just too easy.
You keep saying you have no intention of leaving your H (understandable) and you don't want AP to leave his wife. BUT (and this seems to be the "elephant in the room" everyone sees but isn't mentioning) if your husband is terminal, doesn't that mean he will be leaving you? Whether you leave him or he leaves you, the marriage ends when it happens...
You're in a horrible position and if your AP gives you the comfort and help that you need to get through this then let him do that. But if you get emotional, which you really already have, and then you become single, you will want more from the R than you're letting on to your AP at the moment. You'll have to work through your grief with only "hidden" help from your AP - he won't be able to publicly support you, won't be able to be there for you except when it's "convenient" for him. I'm just looking ahead and wondering if this friendship/relationship with him will only make everything you'll have to go through even harder than it would have been.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You are in a bad situation at this point in your life; it sounds like AP makes you feel really good, like you said intoxicating. It sounds like you are still at the infatuation stage, which in itself is a bad place to be. It makes it so hard for you to see and feel beyond the moment, because it makes you feel good at the moment and it's like you can't wait until your next fix. It's addicting, just like a drug. Just like a drug, the only way to kick the addiction is to stop.
I know how it feels to wish that your husband could make you feel as good as AP. But realistically, how good is he making you feel about yourself? If you're getting sick just writing about it, your body and mind is telling your something. You are headed down a path that you don't want to go.
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IMHO ea is confiding in one another in a way one would confide in their S or SO.
pa can be strictly physical or physical with ea intertwined (this is where my AP and I are). We started as friends, then ea, pa, and now madly in love with one another.
Do you see a therapist to deal with your H's terminal illness?
My thoughts are with you.
Under,
I really do wish you luck in the not getting attached dept. I think it is sooo much easier said than done, esp with a terminal spouse at home. You (I would) are going to need someone to lean on and talk to...and who better than the person you are intimately involved with? It's just too easy.
You keep saying you have no intention of leaving your H (understandable) and you don't want AP to leave his wife. BUT (and this seems to be the "elephant in the room" everyone sees but isn't mentioning) if your husband is terminal, doesn't that mean he will be leaving you? Whether you leave him or he leaves you, the marriage ends when it happens...
You're in a horrible position and if your AP gives you the comfort and help that you need to get through this then let him do that. But if you get emotional, which you really already have, and then you become single, you will want more from the R than you're letting on to your AP at the moment. You'll have to work through your grief with only "hidden" help from your AP - he won't be able to publicly support you, won't be able to be there for you except when it's "convenient" for him. I'm just looking ahead and wondering if this friendship/relationship with him will only make everything you'll have to go through even harder than it would have been.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
Sweetie --- you're in..hook, line and sinker.
You are in a bad situation at this point in your life; it sounds like AP makes you feel really good, like you said intoxicating. It sounds like you are still at the infatuation stage, which in itself is a bad place to be. It makes it so hard for you to see and feel beyond the moment, because it makes you feel good at the moment and it's like you can't wait until your next fix. It's addicting, just like a drug. Just like a drug, the only way to kick the addiction is to stop.
I know how it feels to wish that your husband could make you feel as good as AP. But realistically, how good is he making you feel about yourself? If you're getting sick just writing about it, your body and mind is telling your something. You are headed down a path that you don't want to go.
The only one you
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