Played for a fool ! Want revenge..advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Played for a fool ! Want revenge..advice
19
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 1:07pm
Well if u read my previous posts u know that the MM was having doubts.. I been sympathetic to his needs.. giving him time.. this A been going on since October.. I thought we were friends as well.. any way I just found out today from a reliable source that the reason for his distance and doubts is that there is another woman in the picture!!!!!! OOOO Im sooooo MAD!!! I dont care that there is another woman, but I refuse to be the fool!!!! All his Im not sure if i can do this and all that crap!!! I really just am the vengeful type and I soooo want to make his life miserable right now and crash his world!!!!! I know its not very adult of me, but still and all i want him to feel like the jerk I fee like right now!!!!! SO ladies what would you all do if this were u ?!?!! let it go , revenge, confrontation?.. I need some objective opinions cause Im on the verge of calling the wife right now!!!.. JAM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 1:23pm
I'd first decide if I were able to be convinced it was all a big mistake. Assuming I believe what I've heard, I'd tell him what I'd learned, show him the door, and chalk it up to a lesson learned. Then choose more carefully next time.

Hope you feel better soon.

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 2:37pm
First, make sure your source was reliable and then go for revenge. It sucks to be played the fool. I say, don't tell his wife (although tempting) but tell the OW what a slimeball he is!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 3:27pm
I wish just one of the OW would have told me. Knowledge is power, be happy you found out. Someone should create a website where we can post these serial-cheaters names.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 3:37pm
Don't tell his wife. You don't know where that will go or how it will end. It might involve you much more than you want. Don't lower yourself to his level. Instead, tell him you're going to tell his wife, just don't do it. It will be worse for him wondering when the ax is going to fall. Tell him you're just not sure how you're going to approah his wife but he'll sure as hell know when you do! That's much better than actually telling her.

I'm not saying this just because I'm a man. Women can be just as dirty as men. Someday ask me about the inside of a house I painted just before the new boyfriend moved in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 3:58pm
Tell us about the house you painted just before the new boyfriend moved in....(come on...don't leave us hanging!!!) LOL



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 4:04pm
Yeah, really!! Inquiring minds want to know. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 4:08pm
Sorry!! I wouldn't tell the wife. Then, she may want to come and kick your butt. Telling the ow is tempting as one poster said!! I would be very hurt and confused. Do you know this for a fact?? well, just tell yourself you are better than that, if it is true, and find someone else. Revenge?? i don't know. Finding someone else might do the trick. Then he might realize what he had. I would have to show up somewhere that he and this new girlfriend were at, and just sit and stare him down hard. But that is just me!! good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 4:25pm
Why revenge? What is the point? We are adults aren't we? One thing my OM knows about me is that I would never, in any circumstance, do anything to hurt him.. Even if he hurts me sometimes.. and I know his wife is very spitful.. I am in a situation I never could have imagined...I think I am even in love and deal with all the crap which goes along with being in EMA. And here is food for thought.. if they are hurting the one they are married to.....and their children.. what makes us so special???? Hope this helps!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 6:27pm
You totally left us hanging! What about the house you painted?!

Once I had a serious b/f (of 2 years) cheat on me with not only his ex but MY sister, too. Fortunately, it was a long distance R and he didn't call me for about 9 months. When he did, I sent pics of a baby my friend just had (she was in on it) and told him it was his. I even made him pay child support (just for one month) before I told him! Revenge was sweet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 8:42pm
Jam ,

I am sorry to hear this ;-( I know right now you feel very mad and upset . It doesn't feel good to be played BUT you need to step back a second and control your emotions .

You don't want to stoop to his level . Just because he is a jerk you don't want to behave like that too .


Revenge will get you no where . Don't you believe in Karma ? Do not worry the universe/God will take care of things don't take it into your own hands . You don't want to do something hasty and maybe regret later. Be the bigger person !


What I would do is first really find out if your source is really reliable and if it is really true that there is another W in the picture . If you know for sure just tell him straight up that you know what is up ! and if he thought he could play you and that you would never find out well he was wrong . tell him how disappointed you are in him ( ok not that it matters to him ) that you thought he was a better person then that , but now you see he isn't and that you are glad you found out now before a longer time would have passed and you would hurt even more .

Tell him next time he shouldn't be a coward and play with peoples emotions . Just be honest and upfront .........but wait your expecting honesty from a man who lies and cheats on his wife ?? ;-)

Personally after something like this any feelings I may have had for the man would go away in a minute . Move on with your life , forget about him you deserve better then that . I am sure in the long run you will have a happy life and he will get his . Hugs ViperDiva

xoxo ViperDiva

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