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please help
| Wed, 12-17-2003 - 6:17pm |
Me and my partner met in highschool and dated for a year. I broke up with him when i went to college...because i wanted to experience life for myself and also i wasn't ready to give up my parents for him at age 18.(We are two different races) During our relationship i grew extremely close to his best friend...and most of the time when we were together...we spent our time as the three of us. It was like we the three musketeers. Anyways a week after i broke up with my partner...his best friend came to visit...and kissed me...a lot. Nothing happened...we just kissed. And then i stopped it...and said i couldn't do this with him. In the beganning i wanted to tell my partner what happened...but his best friend pleaded with me not to...because he thought it would throw away his friendship with him. So i didn't say anything. Two years past...and we remained friends...and then seven months ago we got back together. I was ready to give up my family and we talked a lot about marriage...we couldn't deny the fact we had feelings for eachother. We took a break...just give eachother some space to ourselves...nothing serious...just a simple break from seeing eachother constantly. During this time...The best friend told my partner what happened two years ago...and now its all over. He doesn't trust me...he feels betrayed. He thinks i am a horrible person. The things he says to me...are beyond painful. I know i shouldn't feel sorry for myself. But i will do anything to get him back. I love him so much...and i can't live my life without him. What do i do? How do i console him? How do i fix this? I understand that i'm the enemy. But im in desprate need of advice. Please...someone help

Edited 3/10/2004 5:06 pm ET ET by geek_chic
Edited 3/10/2004 5:06 pm ET ET by geek_chic
((((ikappy))))
Hrm....
I know that you feel to blame for all of this but you had no ties to him at the time, so therefore nothing to feel guilty about.
I would suggest not talking about this with him until he has had a chance to get himself together, if he doesn't then he really doesn't care about you as much as he says. He has to want to get past this you cannot force him to deal with it all.
I really hate to see someone with their whole life ahead of them get into a situation such as M with someone who is not willing to see both sides of a situation. Because trust me there will be moments in the future will you wiil not agree with each other, Are you willing to feel like you do now when that happens? You deserve someone who can understand you and your emotions
Good luck
Let me know how it turns out
SB
Seeburg
why is your R over? your partner trusted you for all those years, but one incident is going to end everything?? i just get pissed when someone is being unreasonable. i know he is hurt, but really, if you think about it, you didn't have a long-term A or even have sex, it was just some kissing, for goodness sake.
that said, i'm not sure you can "get him back" unless he wants to get back together with you. tell him you love him and that hasn't changed and didn't change two years ago. let him know you could have made a much different decision back two years ago with his best friend, but didn't. you want to be with him. and then you have to leave him alone to think about where his future lies -- with you or without you.
good luck, honey!
gurl