Please Help Me!!
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Please Help Me!!
| Tue, 12-30-2003 - 9:29am |
Hi I used to post here a while back but I just started lurking because in August I just stopped seeing my OM no more calls or anything because I was tired of hurting...I am in love with this man...everything about him I love...we have known each other forever...we actually dated when I was 17 but we both had some growing up to do...now I am 23 and he is 26..he is still single and I got married about four years ago...I got married way to young..I love my H but I am not in-love with him...marriage is not supposed to be this way...I cringe at the thought of him touching me at night...I thought you were supposed to love to have sex with H...I hate it!!..from the time I stopped talking to OM in August I tried working on my marriage..it got a little better...but there was not a day that went by that I did not think about OM...=(...in those couple of months me and H decided to try and have a baby...well my friend came home to visit and her and I went to the club...well who do I run into...OM!! my heart melted...all I wanted to do was be with him...that was saturday night..I went to his house that night and sunday night and monday night...on monday I felt so sick to my stomach...I just felt like I had to tell him how I felt..that I was in-love with him....so when I went over he said what did you have to tell me...and I just said I know you prob don't feel the same way but I can't hold it in any longer...Im in love with you...and he just looked at me and said you can't say I don't feel the same way you don't know...its just hard on me because you are married and all the sneaking around just gives me so much stress in my life...we just layed there forever holding eachother and kissing...what do I do..Im sooo scared...I love DH...but can I actually live the rest of my life in a marriage like this...but something keeps me from leaving...its like I know I will regret it later in life..he is the best husband..or maybe Im just scared...and what if I get prego now...I will never leave!! am I just going through a 23 year old crises? is marriage supposed to be like this where you don't want to have sex with them and eveything they do gets on your nerves...and all I can think about is OM...how sexy and sweet he is...how we should have never left eachother in the first place...but I will not leave my for another man...I want to leave it for myself...but in my heart I now I never will...I am not strong enough...Im soooo sorry for rambling...please help me...thanks little

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Good Luck to you. I hope you can find the answer in your heart. If you see yourself with your H years down the road I would guess that you love him enough to make it work.
the bottom line is -- would you be happier with H or without H, on your own?
good luck,
gurl
Honey...please listen to the people on this board. You are so young and you have your entire life ahead of you!!! Think more about your marriage if you need to, but PLEASE do not get pregnant!!! Read through more of the posts on here -- you might just see a glimpse of your future, and believe me, it will only get more complicated and more heart wrenching.
Charlotte
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