Please Help me I am so STUCK ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Please Help me I am so STUCK ...
4
Fri, 10-02-2009 - 10:11pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Sat, 10-03-2009 - 2:26am

Boy do I feel your pain. I'm so sorry you are hurting and confused. It's so hard being in these situations.


I feel like you do. My H became very unattentive and unaffectionate towards me. I felt like everything came 1st and that sometimes I was an afterthought. Dont get me wrong, H is a decent guy but by him being that way, I felt unattractive and, alienated. We hadnt had S in 2 years at one point. That's not normal, that's not what a M should be.


I met AP. He showed so much love and affection toward me. I felt cared for, desired and appreciated. It was wonderful to feel this way again. Even now over a year later, he still makes me feel that way. We have fallen in love. H and I had a talk and we mutually decided to seperate. It's been 2 months. We are still friends and spend some time together. He said after a year we will see how we are and if we are ready to work things out. He says he wants us to be together and doesnt want to marry anyone else.


At this point I feel no desire to be with him. I dont even think I would want to try to work things out. Then I feel guilty for not wanting to work it out. I feel guilty about the A and sad and like I've done my H so wrong. I wonder if I did enough or if I gave up to easily. I cant tell sometimes if I feel like I want to work things out or if it's my guilt getting the best of me. Is it love or guilt? I'm finally starting to see that I do love him but not like a W should love a H. We had become roommates. Who wants to marry their roommate? I dont want to be in a M with no passion and romance, and caring. The thought of

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Sat, 10-03-2009 - 8:24am
Thank You for your sharing your story. Its nice to
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 10-03-2009 - 10:28am

yeah.. i hear you loud and clear.. married man here.. I don't have answers for you, per se, but some more points to ponder.. if you left your H, do you see a life for yourself and children on your own?.. even without AP? Would you consider a life w/o H a better choice than what you have now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2009
Mon, 10-05-2009 - 8:10am

Thank you for your thoughts!