Please help me stop crying

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2009
Please help me stop crying
1
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 1:22am
My sweet and wonderful AP is with HER right now. If things are so bad between them, why does he choose her over me? We have such wonderful times together. I haven't heard from him all day, and I am in tears. I'm afraid he's going to realize he has to stop seeing me. Why doesn't he choose me? I know he loves me. But she's like some evil force he can't break free of.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 9:58am

Reality check... she's not an evil force. She has no supernatural power over him. She's a human person, and if she has any hold over him, it's one that he gave to her because he wanted to. Men are not mindless slaves that can be controlled by evil wives. They are human beings with free will who are where they choose to be.

I'm sorry you're hurting sweetie. I know it sucks. But blaming wives' "evil forces" is silly. You have to face whatever the truth of it is. He is where he wants to be. That's the reality of an A. Usually (not always, but usually) the wife comes first because there is love and feeling there, and not because of any other reason, no matter what he tells you. Anyone in an A has to decide if what they get is "enough". If it's not, you need to find something better for yourself - a relationship where YOU are number one, if that's what you need.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I