Please help me!
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Please help me!
| Mon, 12-14-2009 - 11:35am |
I have a real problem, and I'm hoping someone out there can help me out.
| Mon, 12-14-2009 - 11:35am |
I have a real problem, and I'm hoping someone out there can help me out.
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Lonely, I just discovered these board a week ago and I am ever so grateful to read and post and vent here. It is such a relief to hear from other women in similar situations and not to be judged. I have beaten myself up a thousand times for doing this again, but I am not ready to end it and I certainly don't need anyone telling me that I'm bad and should end it for my own good. I already know that.
Very fortunately for me, the A is a long distance one and we don't have an opportunity to see each other but every 6 weeks or so, although we email and talk several times a week. He makes me feel soooo good. He was my AP 20 years ago, and we had a DDay which nearly resulted in the end of my M, although his W never found out. I always harbored a little resentment about that. We had NC for 20 freakin' years until 5 months ago! As soon as we saw each other, we fell right back into each other's arms. He is a man with some position and power now, which is a major turn on to me....and just the fact that he has so actively pursued this A is also a turn on. I feel so much more in control than 20 years ago, when I naively thought he
Wow! Jr. High friends!! One of my jr high friends (on FB) was just saying how the friendships we made at that age are the true ever-lasting ones...guess he was right about that!!!
I understand about being
The definition of an addict, clinically-speaking, is someone who continues to do something knowing that it has negative impacts on his or her life.
After my last A, going to counseling I could not share my true feeling as it was couple counseling. I felt bad that I sat there and lied through my teeth instead of being able to come clean and say what I truly felt inside.
Do any of you wonder that there could also be a self destructive part to this as well? We all know it is dumb, what we are in for and we go head first into it. I feel bad that so many of you feel the same way as i know how awful it feels but at the same time am so thankful to know there are others out there who are feeling the same feelings I am. I hope somehow you can get away from this man as he does not sound like a good person for you! I think you deserve so much better. Could it possibly be that you chose a "bad guy" for a reason? I wish you strength and peace in trying to once again go NC. You know what is the best decision for you. Good luck.
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