Please I need anyones viewpoint
Find a Conversation
Please I need anyones viewpoint
| Mon, 12-29-2003 - 9:21am |
If you are a man, woman, single, married, I would like your viewpoint on my situation. I am married with kids, SM is single and 12 years younger. I don't see a future with him and have no plans to leave my marriage. He pursued me from the beginning but every time we had sex (twice) he pulled away. He has not initiated any contact since he left his job in May (where I met him and would see him). I have known for a while that this is not good for me but I am having a hard time giving it up. I want to be with him again. This being said, I called him and we talked for the first time about it all. Basically he told me this...I have liked you since I met you but you are married. Every time we have sex I get more attached to you. It can't just be sex with you, I am getting attached and I will get hurt. I don't think I can ever totally relax with you because of the concept of your H finding us. This A is not good for anyone, no good will come of it. I have the respect of my family to lose and family is every thing to me. You have more to lose than me. I think you want your marriage and you want to "date" me. I will not date you and I will not pursue you. I will respond if you contact me. My new job is very important to me and I need to give it my full attention. If I get back together with my girlfriend I can not see you anymore...I said maybe we should forget the whole thing because I don't want to put any demands on you. He said, you aren't putting any demands on me, let's get together after I get back in town after the holidays and talk. I would like to be with him again, but without the pursuit thing would it be any fun any more? I wanted this A to be fun, an escape from my stressful life. I don't want to talk this to death with him. Maybe I haven't looked at it from his point of view enough. I have been thinking, he's not so into me anymore, maybe I've been seeing it all wrong. I am VERY OPEN to anything any of you have to say. Should I call him next week to get together and talk? What should I say? What would any of you do if you were me? Thanks for your time reading this and posting, C

Pages
Call him...as long as you are aware of the limitations of the relationship (and can deal with them -- which you are/can!), just call him. Be careful though -- hold on to your heart, because as often as we think it will only be fun, it can very easily become more.
Keep us updated.
Charlotte
Pages