PLEASE PLEASE help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
PLEASE PLEASE help
5
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 9:44am

HI all


I used to post a while ago under a different name and mostly lurking lately. Back now and desperately need help. Brief "A" history. Been with AP over a year, he is a great person, we are in love but not leaving spouses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
In reply to: the_6
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 10:22am

Hi.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
In reply to: the_6
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 10:53am

Well...the outcome to this is that thank goodness he's not dead. He said our texts got crossed and he thought I said we didn't have to meet (that was a text that I had sent hours earlier! he said he got late and he thought I was referring to meeting).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
In reply to: the_6
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 2:53pm

Hi,


Sorry I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I have been in my A for over a year now and I still don't know how to compartmentalize. For the first six months I was a mess and yes, I lost a ton of weight (so much so that AP/BF was extremely worried about me) and I became an alcoholic. The reasons for this was number one..the guilt of what I'd done to my H, as the song says "I fooled around and fell in love" and we had our D-Day. The other reason is the roller coaster that has been mentioned. I fell deeply in love with my AP and he's made me feel that he loves me back, so when we couldn't be together I would get upset and tears? Well...I have cried so many tears I sometimes wonder how I could possibly have any left!


I am separated and he is still M...yes I want to be with him but I am not pushing or asking. I just accept our time together with extreme happiness and take it one day at a time.


I'm glad that your AP was okay and it was nothing more than a miscommunication (happens with texts a lot, I'm beginning to find). Hang in there, stay busy and start eating...just a bite or two at first to remind your stomach that it needs food.


benska

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
In reply to: the_6
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 4:49pm
Oh, Sweetie, BTDT more than I care to admit!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
In reply to: the_6
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 5:45pm
Well, given the fact that he seems to be pulling back due to other priorities, I'm skeptical about the texts "getting crossed." Sounds like he is feeling guilty and getting cold feet. Remain guarded and start the process of letting go a little at a time. He may come around, but for now it sounds like he wants to cool off.