PLEASE READ!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
PLEASE READ!!
7
Sat, 10-11-2003 - 3:25pm
Hi everyone.... I know this sounds stupid but I posted a message earlier in my "We saw her last night" post and I meant to start a new discussion on it but I put it in that one. Or maybe no one cares. Anyway, will someone please read my post from earlier??? I'm by myself at work right now and I'm very depressed. Thank you so very much!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
In reply to: fpenick
Sat, 10-11-2003 - 3:43pm
Hi fpenick,

Don't be so hard on yourself. You have so many ups and downs its only natural, I have been there. When I divorced my ex and got with my H i put him through hell because of my doubts, worries and insecurities even.

You have to trust him, and if you don't then there is a problem. But I really do think he has shown his love for you, and his devotion. I don't think you have anything to worry about but you do have to calm down. I know that when life looks to good, I panic, start worrying, and basically wait for desaster because I am not used to life being great. Perhaps that is what you are doing.

On the personal note :) I once did that with my H after I had found out he had cheated. His A didn't last long, and well its a long story and I don't excuse what he did but I could see how it happened. Anyways 2 years later when I was "giving him pleasure" I noticed a different aura, taste whatever. I questioned him, but then when I thought about it and as gross as this sounds, the poor man had worked for nearly 48 hours in his uniform so at the risk of sounding gross, god knows how much sweat pooled up down there :)

Rejoice in your relationship and what lies ahead. You deserve it.

Sweettendencies

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: fpenick
Sat, 10-11-2003 - 4:01pm
fpenick

I'm so sorry you're depressed, and even more sorry that I asked to you explain your rationale in one of the other posts below. It was really, really, really not meant to upset you, it was just me rambling, and my brain works in a way that makes me always want to 'think' things to death, if you know what I mean. So with me, everything generates a question and I'm always trying to learn something.

I can totally understand why you're feeling the way you are, you have been through so much. I do agree with Sweet - you need to relax and force yourself to stop doubting him or as you said, it will drive him away. But clearly he wants to be with YOU, because look what he has gone through to do that! Hang onto that.

Regarding the different taste thing - has happened to me also, and I can tell you from the perspective of a health care professional, lots of different things (physiologically speaking) can affect that. But the incident is over and done with, and if it were me, I would just do your best to put it behind you. Apologize to him, tell him you absolutely didn't mean it, too much alcohol and stress talking, and go about being your normal self with him as best you can...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
In reply to: fpenick
Sat, 10-11-2003 - 4:25pm
I read your post and I agree with others that it just may be nerves talking. Chalk it up to the drinking, say you are sorry and move on with your guy. I, too, tend to kick up dust when things in my life are too calm or too great. It sounds like your MM loves and wants to be with you and you only. I highly doubt that anything happened between him and STBexW. What would be the point? He had you both and he chose you. Just keep telling yourself that he chose you.

Be happy..you are living your dream :)


Hugs

RH

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
In reply to: fpenick
Mon, 10-13-2003 - 9:05am
Hi ladies and thank you all so much for your support. Mommy.com, I'm so sorry for sounding so bitter to your post. I think that the way I percieved you was as a married woman so I'm sure you're on both sides of the spectrum. In a way, I figured you were sticking up for the wives who get cheated on. Anyway, my deepest apologizies. Like you, I do think things to death and it just runs me to the ground. I hate it.


Well, I haven't heard from him in two days. As you all know, on the weekends he has to be home because well, he's not divorced yet and according to him, he is following through with his plan until he gets his hands on the money for his property (Oct. 20th which is a week away). He always calls on the weekends or calls my VM to leave me a message to let me know not to worry. He didn't call or leave a message not once this weekend. I've had every thought run through my mind. Did he go out of town with her?? Is he ending it with me?? Did I run him off for good with all of my questioning and checking?? Did he re-consider things with his wife?? What if I made her look better to him?? What if he thinks that he'd rather stay with her than put up with my crap?? What if he's using this as an excuse to get out of this because he never planned to leave her anyway??

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MOVING IN TOGETHER IN A WEEK!!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.


I don't know ya'll. I haven't eaten since Saturday afteroon, I've smoked a pack cigarrettes in one day, I cried all weekend and tried to take care of my kids. I just wish I knew something. Is it possible that he had a change of heart with his wife/??


Please help me. I can't take this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: fpenick
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 1:45pm
hey fpenick -- sorry i've been off the board until now. have you heard from your MM?? i don't see any update to this post, so my only suggestion is to get in contact with him and just ask him what's going on. communication is the only thing to put your mind at ease. that and of course, personal contact with you would be good too!

i hope everything is okay and he's back with you now.

let us know you're okay.

Gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
In reply to: fpenick
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 6:48pm
hi,

i am new to the message board thing. but i wanted to let you know what i thought about what i had read.

so hear goes....I am a firm beleiver in making your own happiness. worrying and questioning everything is making to much stress for you hun. Take a deep breath and concentrate on the positive. Try not to let all those negative thoughts run through your head. Things are going your way you have something she doesnt or it would not have gotten to this point. take time to rejoice in the good things and the positives. you seem to be sidestepping the good things. This is not good for you, i see to many positives for you to be comeing down so hard on yourself and making yourself miserable.

congratulations your life is changeing that is scary but not bad.

take care,

wantinghappiness
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
In reply to: fpenick
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 10:33am
Hello everyone and thanks so much for all of your support. Everything is fine now. He just got tired of hearing my crap all the time and took a breather and understandably so. SO he said it's all worth it because all of it (the doubts, insecurities,etc.) will all end on Monday (the day he closes on his property and moves in with me). We sat over lunch yesterday and went over the things we need to take care of (bills, car, furniture, etc.) so as the day approaches, I'm getting more and more excited. I'm getting this feeling of relief already and I'm alot calmer and less paranoid. I'm just the type of person who CANNOT handle stress. I go off the deep end. I can handle stress over work, bills, stuff like that, but when it comes to my heart and soul, I lose it.