Pondering an Affair... Need advice!!!!
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| Tue, 10-21-2003 - 8:25pm |
Which leads me to this situation: a new co-worker (I'll call him Tim) arrived almost a year ago. He's married, 41, and has 3 kids. We hit it off right away, similar quirky personalities. I never ever thought any more of our relationship until recently. This is what happened:
Tim called me into his office, and told me he had bought me a coffee (as he typically does). His office mates were not around. He was telling me he was leaving for vacation with his wife (whom I've met once), her sister, and his 3 kids the next morning. I told him I hoped he had a wonderful time. Somehow we got on the conversation of what his officemates thought. He told me one of them had called him at home recently and asked how me and his wife got along at a dinner party recently. I said that was a weird thing to ask. Tim said it's because his friend thought we were having an affair. Believe me, I was absolutely shocked. I don't even think I said anything (I mean, we certainly were not having an affair!). Tim went on to say something like "Well, you know, I like you more than a friend." I can't remember if I said anything, because I was in complete shock. I do remember getting up to leave his office, and he got up as well, hugged me, and left for vacation.
All this happened last Thursday; he's due back in the office this coming Monday. His words of liking me more than a friend have been playing in my mind for a long time. I mean, I guess I never really contemplated my feelings for him, but once I confronted my feelings, I think I am sort-of attracted to him. I mean, he gives me attention that I don't get at home. BUT, he has kids and I have a daughter. I can't imagine losing her over all this. Never mind hurting his wife and kids...
HELP! What do I do? Does anyone think I'm interpreting his words wrong, that he doesn't want to start something with me? I kind of felt he was feeling around to see how I would react. I really need your feedback. Thanks!

My husband sounds a lot like yours, but if I had to do it again I would have left him long ago. I know it's easier said then done, but now I look back and think..What a wasted life! I'm 42 now still seeing the same married man (yes, we work together too) and hopefully some day we will have a life together, just the two of us. But it has had its heartache over the years and when we did try to stop seeing each other a couple times, it made work very uncomfortable. I can't tell you what you should do other than do some real hard thinking before you make a move. Good luck to you.