possible to keep it secret forever?
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possible to keep it secret forever?
| Tue, 01-27-2004 - 4:59pm |
I need some reassurance - desperatly!
I just started an EMA and want to know from those who are more experienced - Is it possible for me to keep this a secret or am I kidding myself? I am living somewhere temporarily and feel more free to explore myself here. I know I am not starting something very long term. My OM had made that clear also. It is supposed to be about the sex and I can keep it that way if I am careful. I plan on doing this and walking away when it is time to move or else much sooner when the excitement wears off. Am I an idiot for thinking that this is possible? I do value my marriage and do not plan on ruining it. Can I do this or am I kidding myself? I believe I can do this but I would love to hear from some women (or men) who have been able to keep their EMA a secret and have not ruined their marriage. This is all about me - I am so totally selfish right now and I feel like I need this. Any wisdom out there? My OM is very clear on not starting something permanent also. We both have too much to lose. I really need some reassurance or dire warnings. It is still early for me and I can avoid some heartache if it is unavoidable!
Thanks. I'm glad I have somewhere safe to talk and ask advice.
I just started an EMA and want to know from those who are more experienced - Is it possible for me to keep this a secret or am I kidding myself? I am living somewhere temporarily and feel more free to explore myself here. I know I am not starting something very long term. My OM had made that clear also. It is supposed to be about the sex and I can keep it that way if I am careful. I plan on doing this and walking away when it is time to move or else much sooner when the excitement wears off. Am I an idiot for thinking that this is possible? I do value my marriage and do not plan on ruining it. Can I do this or am I kidding myself? I believe I can do this but I would love to hear from some women (or men) who have been able to keep their EMA a secret and have not ruined their marriage. This is all about me - I am so totally selfish right now and I feel like I need this. Any wisdom out there? My OM is very clear on not starting something permanent also. We both have too much to lose. I really need some reassurance or dire warnings. It is still early for me and I can avoid some heartache if it is unavoidable!
Thanks. I'm glad I have somewhere safe to talk and ask advice.

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I'm in the six month of a very happy EMA. Both OMM and I have good marriages that we want to preserve. Keeping it secret is a very high priority, so we are very, very, careful — no calls during evening hours, no PDA, etc etc. We see each other about once a week. We take care of our marriages. So far so good.
Others may have specific advice... keep your PC clean, do not have detailed billing on your cell phones (if you communicate that way), leave no evidence - letters, anything tangible, don't take silly risks, and always think!
Good luck!
Starz
I'm glad to hear you are keeping it in perspective..I try to keep the sex thing in perspective, but I find it hard not to let the emotions overrule that!
Hi lazyone,
I for one... certainly think it's possible.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
Mama
Hi! I mostly just lurk here but I saw your post and felt I had to jump in. Remember that it takes TWO people being cautious to keep from getting caught. You can be super careful, but if your partner gets careless you'll still wind up in trouble. I'm in an 8 month emotional (non-physical), long distance R with a guy I'll call MF. About 3 months ago his W snooped through his computer and found some email that we had exchanged. Well she freaked out about it and as a result MF and I went through a very painful period of little contact. I was a bit annoyed with him for being careless, but at the same time we were holding onto the belief that there was nothing wrong with our very emotional friendship so we didn't really have anything to hide. (Ha! Yeah, right! Clearly his W didn't see it that way! LOL!!!) Gradually we started talking again and our close relationship continued. At first we kept our communications limited to work ONLY. But over time he started emailing/chatting from home again. I begged him to be cautious and he said he would be. But wouldn't you know that it happened again! His W snooped through his computer and found a chat log that he didn't erase. Arrrgghh!!!! So now we're back to having little contact again. (Can you say down rollercoaster???) Just remember that you being careful isn't enough. He's gotta be careful too. Good luck to you!
GB2
promised
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