possible A with MW, hot and cold signals

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2013
possible A with MW, hot and cold signals
5
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 5:44pm

Today 10:28 AMDefault getting hot and cold signals from married friend (lady)so I have gotten to know a married lady quite well over the last couple of months. we are in the same jogging club. we exchanged numbers a few weeks ago and from day one she would be initiating texts with me. she would start out with some funny pictures ( not of herself) and I would respond and send some back. we ended up having pretty distasteful senses of humor . for the first 4 weeks some days we would get as much as 50 texts each and other days not so much but it would usually be a daily thing. a few times she would mention she was glad we never got together as a couple because the kids we would produce would be messed up. I take this all as playful banter because I know that's deep down she probably just is bored on the days she stays at home and despite seemingly bashing her husband every so often weather its she's not getting enough or he says that she looks like a man or she tells me that she hates hugs or any sort of intimacy with him ( she was raised in a foster home and has a very colorful childhood) I found it quite odd that she tells me all of this ( and yet changes her stance avout us by stating if anything happened to either of our relationships we could have each other -- I have a girlfriend but I just don't know if she is joking.) things stayed pretty high frequency up until last weekend. she ran a half marathon and decided to text me in the morning afterwards. I didn't respond for 7 hours because I was starting to get the side I was becoming her boy toy. ever since then her texts have fallen way off and just the other day I went 72 hours without hearing from her and when I did it was just a simple invite to go run. I turned it down and then the next morning she asks if I want to meet up with her at a starbucks. we kill an hour there and go our separate ways. she mentioned that ( during one of her complaining rants) that the last time she had a sit down meal was with me 3 weeks ago when we got Chinese.| so the other day she runs by my work after I could not meet with her and proceeds to randomly drop off her sweatshirt in my vehicle before asking if my girlfriend wouldn't care. I said yeah thats fine. I ended up giving it back to her yesterday.| and then yesterday I had a chiropractor appointment and she says she wanted to run from her house to the office and meet me there so I can drive her back home. I didn't think much of it but thought it was kind of weird and perhaps she is just using me. she invites me inside and the husband and two kids are there and I have some cake and coffee before going . as I was about to leave she was leaving to pick up some pizza and asked if I wanted to ride with her so I said I don't care sure.| and as of today I have not heard from her. I find her behavior very weird .| I have no interest in breaking up a marriage so I don't need a bunch of posts telling me to stop associating with her but my main objective here is to figure out what she is thinking. if she thinks she can play hot and cold with me I'm not going down that road.. too old for that

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 09-22-2013 - 11:56am

It is entirely possible that she has absolutley no intention of having an affair with you, but just use you as a distraction and entertainment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
Sun, 09-22-2013 - 3:34pm

My guess is that it is a cat and mouse game for her distraction. Now she's adding an element of danger by making sure that her husband and your gf become aware of each of your presence. She may be satisfied at keeping it strictly an emotional affair.

If you don't want to deal with hot and cold, or other game playing, then this woman is probably not the AP for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2013
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 11:09am
appreciate the reply so far. Would it matter if i said that a few weeks ago she had said "dont take this the wrong way but if we were to ****, we would both be bloody and in the hospital." or emotional stuff like "only you can send me this and make me smile." but usually she would follow up with something about her husband to keep me in my place. quite odd. but i would say she has toned herself down over the last week or more versus a month ago. So basically the consensus here is the status quo is what it is, that she likes me to a point but wont go thay extra step? What should i do to get her to make herself want me more? Also play hot cold? Ask her point blank? Stay mysterious until she pops?
Avatar for khatru1
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Registered: 06-07-2004
Wed, 09-25-2013 - 4:18pm

I agree she appears to be stringing you along in the neutral zone. Not quite as close as an AP, not as platonic as strictly friends. Maybe its entertaining or fun for her. She gets a rise out of it. Enjoys pulling your strings then letting some slack in. I wouldn't think she would purposely have you into her house if she had any intention of wanting to turn it into a real affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2013
Fri, 09-27-2013 - 9:48pm
so I feel the need to update as things have gotten back to sexual again with more interest. so on Monday she asked if I would like to lift on Tuesday with her and after a few exchanges I tell her I'd like to spot her from behind while she does pull ups. I think that caused the egg to hatch since she got the vibe I was interested. Tuesday rolls around and she cancels listing but asks to meet me for coffee instead. we end up hanging out and talking for 2 hours and some sexual stuff was brought up including her and her husband getting with my gf if I could have her with my gf. Wednesday comes around and we get coffee again but with a mutual friend this time. she made a comment twice about wishing that there was a fourth person when its three of us (a girl.) we kept texting each other sexual pictures unbeknownst to the third person. Thursday rolls around and we had planned on lifting together but her kid got sick so I went solo. I teased her telling her that her friend was hitting on me the whole time ( which she was.) today she texted me at 4am from a conversation we had Thursday night (nothing noteworthy). we ended up texting all day ( probably 50 each.) yesterday I had told her she would be hard to date cuz she's not big on hugging or touching. so today she brings it up again I would have to blow you till it falls off for a happy meal. best sexual ball kept rolling and she said while she was at work she was talking about me. she ends up sending me a picture of herself in the stall after I sent one myself. nothing showing explicit parts tho but I felt another level was reached. and then this comes out : Seriously, we should never ever ever ever hook up! We would kill each other, and the smells alone . Lol! JK btw it would be incest ( we have the same DNA!). I respond by saying the scene in Mr and mrs would look like a nursery. we kind of moved on from that and she ended up driving to her home town an hr away and she said she wished i had come (shes getting drunk.). So thats that for now...