Possibly pregnant from an aff., married

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Possibly pregnant from an aff., married
8
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:00am
I think I may be pregnant from a year long affair. I have no idea how I could have let this happen. We're both married....has anyone ever been in this situation? I don't want my H to know or the other man. So it seems there's only one alternative but that makes me sad. Can this be pulled off totlly anonymously???

Please, any advice will be helpful.

I do know that I can't keep it if I am, so please don't advise me to do so.

H and I haven't had sex in almost a year. I'm so scared and have no one to turn to.

Thanks so much for any advice I may receive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:05am
My first thought is Yikes!! I would be scared witless because also I have not had sex with H since Xmas.

#2, see a dr. asap and try and get that abortion pill, whatever its called. As long as you're not too far along, but it doesn't sound like it, are you? You take these pills for a couple of days and it just makes you cramp up and have a type of bad period.

Good luck to you honey.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:24am
Hi maree

Please, first thing, is to get a pregnancy test. If you are pregnant, congratulations! I believe that any child conceived in the womb has the right to his or her own life. Have you or will you discuss with your husband whether to keep or give the baby up for adoption? There are many couples who cannot conceive who can lovingly parent a child even if its not their own. Let me know what you want to do with the baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 1:02pm
Maree, I'm going to apologize first off because I know what I have to say isn't going to be something that you want to hear. I don't agree with abortion except under rare circumstances involving rape and incest and rare medical problems. But as hard as this may seem right now, this child is YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD. I don't know what your life is like with H, and I know that OM is married, but now it's time to take responsiblity for your actions. For your BABY!!

I've never been in this kind of a situation, but really above all else, your child should come first. The only innocent party in this situation shouldn't be forced to suffer the consequences.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 1:58pm
Kemp and Bad Kitty, I understand your feelings and for the most part, agree with them. I am not someone who would ever like to see a child I helped conceive be aborted. However, I don't agree with any statements that suggest she doesn't have the right to make that decision for herself. I realize that religion and other factors play into your statements, but keep in mind that not all people here are of the same religion or have the same moral beilefs you do. I certainly would applaud suggestions that she keep this child and I believe she will regret it later if she does not. But it is still completely her choice whether to do that or not.

The only thing I will say is I think she absolutely must tell the MM. He has every right to know and should at least play a part in the decision. It would be very unfair to not tell him.

Also, whatever decision you make maree, I hope you find peace of mind. I would recommend finding a counselor regardless of what you decide because this will be a difficult path and a difficult choice either way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 2:05pm
I agree..I think MM has a right to know. I don't think I could consider anything other than having the baby, but like Omaha said, that would be my decision to make (along with MM's of course). My thoughts are with you....I can't even begin to know what turmoil you must be going through. God bless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 3:19pm
I knew my opinion on this matter would tend to be harsh. That's why I apologized first. Of course she'll have to decide what course of action to take. I just want her to see ALL sides of the situation from everyone's point of view, including the little one whose voice isn't quite loud enough yet.

But all that said, and even though my point of view is very to the point and totally not PC...if she chooses to go ahead with an abortion, I will not throw stones, for I am not without sin...

Maree, just so you know...my intention is not to be unsupportive, whatever route you take, I will stand with you, and be as supportive as I can! This is a very difficult choice to make...you have my prayers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 3:39pm
maree,

I understand completely what you are going through and the emotional toll this is going to take. Would like to email you.

sensativesoul



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 5:30pm
maree...I do know exactly what you are going through, as I have been there myself. This is a very difficult situation with many different consequences depending upon your decision. At least it was for me. I did inform my OM, and his reaction was NOT what I expected. You must prepare yourself for the possibility of that happening. My OM was VERY clear about what he expected me to do about the situation we were in...and to make matters worse, he didn't offer a dime to cover the expenses. I really don't feel comfortable discussing the details on this forum due to the fact that this is a very sensitive topic for many folks. May I offer a suggestion for you to visit the Abortion Support board as they will not be judgemental of you and your decision. I found that board to be extremely helpful and supportive during a very difficult time...please give it a try. I'd be happy to discuss my personal experiences regarding this matter through private e-mail if you'd like.

Bfly