Post Valentine's Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Post Valentine's Day
12
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:30am
This may be a little late but, believe it or not, I've been avoiding MM since Thursday the 12th. I know I can only put this off so long, so I thought I'd ask those of you who have dealt with this already this week for your advice. A big part of the reason I'm avoiding MM is that I just can't bear to listen to how his weekend was. The later it gets in the week, I guess the less likely it is we'll actually discuss it, but I want to be prepared just in case it comes up. Did any of your MMs talk about their weekend and what they did for V-day? Honestly, just hearing about what they ate, what they gave each other, etc., makes me want to puke. (I already heard most of this Wednesday and Thursday of last week, which is why I started staying away!) But another issue is that I can't very well discuss MY weekend when I'm asking him not to. Anyway...how did you all handle it? Do you have agreements not to discuss it or are other people just better at handling the jealousy than I am? The further I fall for this guy, the harder it gets to hear...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 12:31pm
Lilah, you and MM are adorable with all these games that you play.

What are your zodiac signs btw? I am curious to know.

PG

PS. NC sucks. Mine has lasted 5 weeks and I thought the feelings would go away but no matter how hard I try to kick him out of my mind, he stays put.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 2:42pm
I'm a Virgo, he's a Cancer. What does that mean? We're both drama queens...to the extreme. We both love attention and we both are very social creatures. That's why this R works for us when most of you can't fathom it. (Although I'm sure a marriage between us would be a nightmare!) I think this mainly exists to feed each other's egos. I'm absolutely way better than he could get, looks-wise, and to be honest with you if I'd walked into a bar, there's no way I would even give him the time of day. He's just so-so in the looks department. In fact, he's losing his hair and has a bit of a spare tire, if you want to be honest about it, while I'm the type who turns heads when I walk into a room. But his eyes... All he has to do is look at me and I melt into a puddle. ANYWAY (I got off track again!) I can't speak for him but I think I almost enjoy the games more than I do the R. I'm having fun with this. Friday when I left work early knowing he'd be coming by to see me that afternoon (and I found out later, he did!), I felt so EMPOWERED. I think because he controlled me in this for so long -- he'd go several days without calling or coming to see me -- when it gets to the point where I can just vanish on him or be too busy to call, it feels SO good. For me it's not so much about being with him or not with him as it is about being in CONTROL. When he gets "cavey" like this, it makes me feel like I'm losing control. I hate that feeling. So I've gotten to the point that when I sense it coming, as a matter of protecting myself, I just shut myself off to him. It's not even something I can control anymore, it just happens. I'm not even tempted to call or go by and see him. And then finally he starts to realize he's losing control and comes back around and we start the cycle over again. I've come to realize I NEED the cycle because if we're too intense for too long (as we were for the entire month of January and part of February), I start getting really TERRIFIED of where we're going. I guess if I were unhappy, I'd get out of it, but to tell you the truth, reading some of the stories here about people meeting at hotel rooms and at people's houses, I like my world a whole lot better. This is all fun and games...that's serious stuff. Right now what we're doing probably qualifies as an emotional affair, but we're not really ever in danger of being caught doing anything that could ruin either of our lives.

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