Posted before just need words of wisdom
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Posted before just need words of wisdom
| Tue, 09-02-2003 - 11:51am |
I posted a couple times before about my A. I've been married for 3 years and just had a little baby in June. We're still not sure who the father is but I'm pretty sure I know who it is.
I'm stuck in a rut. I left my job telling my H that if I didn't leave we would end in divorce because OM wanted me to be with him so much that he was just going to take me home and tell H that we belong together. So now I'm jobless and I do need to find a new job but instead I sit at home thinking about the life I could have with OM. I told H that I would stop emailing OM and I won't talk to him so I avoid all the phone calls and I haven't emailed him in a week. I hate doing this. I hate it so much but I'm so unsure of what I want that I'm giving up the love of my life. My H said that if I want to be with him to leave and he would understand but my whole life is with him. I've been with him for 9 years. I'm sure that the baby is his and I hate the thought of sharing him between the two of us. I know my husband loves me and I feel something for him too but for so long he didn't show it that now I don't see it. H told me that OM is just a player and he would leave me in a year or so. He doesn't know him but he said that everything he says and does is what any player would say or do. One of my fears of leaving my H is that I'll end up alone. I don't know if I could handle that. OM says he loves me and would never leave me but I just don't know. I don't know if he knows me enough to know he'd never leave me. Either way he wants to find out if the baby is his.
My heart hurts in all of this and I don't know how much more I can take. I try talking to H about all of it and he isn't much help.
I'm stuck in a rut. I left my job telling my H that if I didn't leave we would end in divorce because OM wanted me to be with him so much that he was just going to take me home and tell H that we belong together. So now I'm jobless and I do need to find a new job but instead I sit at home thinking about the life I could have with OM. I told H that I would stop emailing OM and I won't talk to him so I avoid all the phone calls and I haven't emailed him in a week. I hate doing this. I hate it so much but I'm so unsure of what I want that I'm giving up the love of my life. My H said that if I want to be with him to leave and he would understand but my whole life is with him. I've been with him for 9 years. I'm sure that the baby is his and I hate the thought of sharing him between the two of us. I know my husband loves me and I feel something for him too but for so long he didn't show it that now I don't see it. H told me that OM is just a player and he would leave me in a year or so. He doesn't know him but he said that everything he says and does is what any player would say or do. One of my fears of leaving my H is that I'll end up alone. I don't know if I could handle that. OM says he loves me and would never leave me but I just don't know. I don't know if he knows me enough to know he'd never leave me. Either way he wants to find out if the baby is his.
My heart hurts in all of this and I don't know how much more I can take. I try talking to H about all of it and he isn't much help.
