practical advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
practical advice
5
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 6:51am
Hello everyone-

This is the first time I have posted even though I have lurked for a while. I have been in a LDEMA for about nine months. We are both married, do not want to leave spouses right now, and live in different states, but manage to see each other once a month. I do love my H and do not want him to bear the pain knowing about this will cause him. Anyway, H will be out of town for a long weekend in a couple of weeks and the timing is such that MM will be out of his town, too so we can meet. I have already used about every believable work related excuse to go to see him. So for this time, should I just tell my husband that there is something wrong with our home phone and use the cell and pretend I am at home for the weekend or try to come up with some new reason (like visiting a girlfriend) as to why I am leaving town (again)? Ideas?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 7:09am
Hello and Welcome!

My gut is saying to tell him you are going away all weekend. Telling him the phone isn't working seems riskier to me..don't know why! Would it seem strange to be visiting a girlfriend? Fpr me that would be a moe logical excuse. Only you really know what would cause more suspicion. How great to have a weekend that works out to see each other.

Enjoy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 7:45am
I would make an excuse (such as visiting a girlfriend, like you said) rather than saying the phone was out of order.
cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 5:28pm
I agree w/other posters...seems risky to say you are at home and not be in case he comes home early. You might be able to have your home calls forwarded to your cell, but that doesn't protect you if he does come home. If you say you are visiting a girlfriend, what are the odds that he will check up on you? Greater than you might realize, based on my experience. That happened to me and was the LAST thing I expected. I had to dig deep and fast for a plausible excuse for not being with the person I said I was. If you have a good friend who knows about the A, would she cover for you? Although that is risky too, in my opinion. Outside of people on this board, NO ONE knows about my A, and I'm keeping it that way.

I have found that your alibis need to be more truth than fiction. If you can come up w/ a reason, work or otherwise related, to legitimately be in the same town as him that would be much safer. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 6:08pm
Can't you just say you are going out for some "me" time....

I hate to sound so selfish but I am an all-about-me kind of girl -

I am either off getting my nails done - shopping - hair - pedicure - waxing - at the mall -the library -

going to the movies - the gym - some crazy cooking class - meeting my girlfriend or sister or SIL for lunch or brunch

God knows I have a million baby showers and wedding showers (that I have to shop for and attend) - candle parties ....to attend within the next couple of weeks now that MM is back home !!!

I hate to throw out my stash of excuses to be out but there's a few

Kikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 8:04pm
Thank you to all who responded. I think you are right and am figuring out a way to safely get out of town. I know if I went with the telephone thing that I would be a nervous wreck all weekend and not be able to enjoy what is usually an amazing experience. Thanks!