Praying for alittle push from Destiny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Praying for alittle push from Destiny
3
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 8:39pm
Hi,

Been waiting since I talked to my mm 2 days ago. He said he would call in a couple days. He hasn't yet. I miss him and worry about him always. I just wish that destiny would give this whole situation a push ! I know I can't end it and he keeps telling me he is trying to get everything together. His wife is leaving , but it is just taking so long! I feel worn out. Not functioning to well with all the stress on my mind. No friends to talk to. If something just doesn't happen to make everything change and make him realize that I am the only one that is going to be here for him I am going to lose it! Now that she took over his cell phone I have no way to contact him. I hate it! I know he is trying to get his business taken care of, fixing the house to sell, getting money, taking care of the kids , I wonder if I am cursed to be lonely for the rest of my life ? If so , I don't want to live anymore! I am sick of being alone! After 25 years in an abusive marrige I won't ever marry again! But I sure want to live with him so I can share all the little important things in life. He knows this! I told him his kids were always welcome here to. He says he has to stand on his own! I don't understand that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 10:55pm
As someone on the other side, let me give you some words of encouragement. If your MM is anything like me, he already knows what he has in you. He wouldn't be ending his marriage if it weren't already deeply troubled. But you should be glad he wants to stand on his own. If he is leaving the marriage just to be with you, that is a bad sign. Because once the two of you do live together, odds are he'll realize that things aren't perfect there either and then what will he do? He's going to need time and space to grieve the loss of his marriage and to experience being alone for a bit. The two of you should almost start over, date each other, exclusively of course if you want to. But I wouldn't move in together right away. Build to that.

Also, I do feel it is unfair of him to not contact you at all. I'm in the process of wrapping up details myself (although my situation is complicated by a baby that is on the way), but I don't let a day go by without sending an e-mail or trying to talk on the phone with her. Still, two days isn't that much time. Give him a little more and in the meantime, don't put your entire life on hold. Do something just for you. Go out with friends. He shouldn't be your whole world anyway, as much as it feels like he is sometimes. Jus take care of yourself. And let us know when he does contact you. Hopefully he'll be able to reassure you at that point. Good luck with everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 2:58am
thank-you so much for being the man that you are. I run out of hope that anyone will ever want me. I know he is going through a hard time . I have been there for him always and people think I am crazy for being with a married man. Now my exhusband knows . My fear is that he will cause him trouble. He has never really excepted my not loving him. although he is getting married next month. He is always asking questions about who I am with. Now he knows ! He will do anything to hurt me. I just wish my mm would be able to tell me something and come through with it. If he wants me to be with him only he must know that he needs to put some effort into letting me know he cares. I told him the last time we talked to just tell me if he does not want to be with me. He said that isn,t even how it is ! A phone call on time is not too much to ask for. Even though the wife will see it on the bill! she always does! Maybe that is why! He says she has been beating him up lately because of me. God I hate that. He has one of his daughters who wants to live with him when they split and W has been calling her names ! It is definately a mess!!! But there are alot of hours in 1 day and if someone wants to change things it could happen alittle faster! If I don't matter he needs to just tell me...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 4:43pm
trouble, moving in together may sound good at first but its best to grieve the end of a R before you jump headlong into another one. Its hard to watch somebody you love go thru torture at home but be there for him whenever he needs you. Be his rock emotionally and morally and that's the best you can do at your situation. Help him as much you can and he will help you back as much he can I am sure.