Praying for alittle push from Destiny
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Praying for alittle push from Destiny
| Sat, 03-13-2004 - 8:39pm |
Hi,
Been waiting since I talked to my mm 2 days ago. He said he would call in a couple days. He hasn't yet. I miss him and worry about him always. I just wish that destiny would give this whole situation a push ! I know I can't end it and he keeps telling me he is trying to get everything together. His wife is leaving , but it is just taking so long! I feel worn out. Not functioning to well with all the stress on my mind. No friends to talk to. If something just doesn't happen to make everything change and make him realize that I am the only one that is going to be here for him I am going to lose it! Now that she took over his cell phone I have no way to contact him. I hate it! I know he is trying to get his business taken care of, fixing the house to sell, getting money, taking care of the kids , I wonder if I am cursed to be lonely for the rest of my life ? If so , I don't want to live anymore! I am sick of being alone! After 25 years in an abusive marrige I won't ever marry again! But I sure want to live with him so I can share all the little important things in life. He knows this! I told him his kids were always welcome here to. He says he has to stand on his own! I don't understand that!
Been waiting since I talked to my mm 2 days ago. He said he would call in a couple days. He hasn't yet. I miss him and worry about him always. I just wish that destiny would give this whole situation a push ! I know I can't end it and he keeps telling me he is trying to get everything together. His wife is leaving , but it is just taking so long! I feel worn out. Not functioning to well with all the stress on my mind. No friends to talk to. If something just doesn't happen to make everything change and make him realize that I am the only one that is going to be here for him I am going to lose it! Now that she took over his cell phone I have no way to contact him. I hate it! I know he is trying to get his business taken care of, fixing the house to sell, getting money, taking care of the kids , I wonder if I am cursed to be lonely for the rest of my life ? If so , I don't want to live anymore! I am sick of being alone! After 25 years in an abusive marrige I won't ever marry again! But I sure want to live with him so I can share all the little important things in life. He knows this! I told him his kids were always welcome here to. He says he has to stand on his own! I don't understand that!

Also, I do feel it is unfair of him to not contact you at all. I'm in the process of wrapping up details myself (although my situation is complicated by a baby that is on the way), but I don't let a day go by without sending an e-mail or trying to talk on the phone with her. Still, two days isn't that much time. Give him a little more and in the meantime, don't put your entire life on hold. Do something just for you. Go out with friends. He shouldn't be your whole world anyway, as much as it feels like he is sometimes. Jus take care of yourself. And let us know when he does contact you. Hopefully he'll be able to reassure you at that point. Good luck with everything.