praying for some support

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2013
praying for some support
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 3:27pm

Hello everyone. I'm new here but so deeply hoping for an understanding ear and shoulder. I'm going to post my full story a little later but right now I just would like to know if anyone has actually divorced their spouse for AP but has been torn between the two? I'm 37 female with 3 children and was married 18 years. This is the first week back with XH and I'm falling apart. I know I came back for the kids only and I'm struggling so very much. I miss my love (AP) and I know I could never, ever be happy with XH again. I just have so desperately missed my kids and I need emotional help dealing with it all. If anyone could help me please I would be so thankful!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-31-2013 - 8:53pm

When you said you "came back for the kids," does that mean that you were planning on leaving your kids w/ your ex?  Why does it have to be all or nothing?  If you could get a divorce and have 50% or more time with your kids, would you do it?  By the way, do you think your DH would be happy if he knew that you were with him but didn't love him & loved another man?  Do you think he would want to be with you under those circumstances?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011
Wed, 07-31-2013 - 8:18pm

I have not had that situation but I would say follow your heart. If you are not happy with XH don't stay. But I would have left for my AP. I guess this is your chance to leave for yourself. It may be messy but I wouldn't leave my kids either. Are yours younger kids or older?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2013
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 9:14pm
I can't offer any advice on that but talking about it with people always help to ease the pain somewhat.
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 4:55pm

 Your situation is quite common.  Only you can make that decision.  This is one time all we can do is read.