Pregnant with AP's child - an update
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| Mon, 10-25-2010 - 2:08am |
Hi,
The last time I posted was in May or June. I took a break from MAS but I thought I'd update those of you who responded to me last time.
I'm scheduled for a C section this Weds, Oct.27th @ 12:30 pm pst. Due to my "advanced maternal age" (LOL...44 to be exact) this is considered a high risk delivery and I have a couple of conditions going on that may make it difficult. So, I could use your prayers and positive thoughts!
Anyway, H and I are separated. We are cordial to one another. I have been pushing for us to go to therapy to see if it is possible for us to reconcile. There a few reasons why I want to. I do love him and we had some good times during our 14 year marriage. Divorce is going to be tough financially, with us having to short sale our house, and there's our 11 year old daughter who is really hurt by our separation. I told my H that I'm not promising anything, only that I think we should try and that we should end the M because we both think its best, not because of my HUGE mistake, which I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up to him.
H doesn't think its possible and has told me that he doesnt think he can raise someone elses child...plus, he doesn't want to go through the baby thing again, anyway. These statements make me angry but he has a right to his feelings and opinions. BTW my dd thinks that my H is the father. She doesn't know about the A. This has made things really strange for her... She is wondering why her dad isn't excited about the baby. H has agreed to go along with the charade for her sake. He will bring her to the hospital after school to see her new brother. My sister will be in the delivery room with me.
Things haven't been the greatest with me and my AP either (not sure if I can still call him that. On the single mom board, men like him are called Baby Daddy or BD for short. Not crazy about that title) Anyway its been a rough summer with my AP/BD. He went for long periods of time without contacting me. It hurt so badly but I made it through the pain. He went from blaming me, telling me how stressful I've made his life to telling me that he wanted to give his marriage another chance. When I pointed out that I was separated and probably divorcing and all the stress it was causing me, he said that was my choice "it didn't have to be that way". He's asked me why I didn't just tell my H that

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WOW, pm...what a journey you have been on!
Wow...
You've got a lot of choices. I
Hi Owl
I don't recall your posts as I likely don't drop in often enough to get to know all of the contributors to this board.
"
Thanks for the update: been wondering how you were doing, though have seriously lost track of time: I can't believe your little boy is almost here already!
Sounds like overall you're doing amazingly well, though I'm not surprised as you're a very strong woman.
anotherseyes
Hi Owl,
Of course I remember your posts.
I am with Another---was wondering how your pregnancy was going but didn't realize it was already due date time. It does alwyas seem to fly when it isn't your pregnancy, yet it positively creeps when you are the one carrying the baby.
I'm sorry this day won't be a joyous one like you had probably hoped for with the birth of your son.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and advice. Just want to follow up on a couple of comments:
1. Child support - honestly, its more important to me right now that AP has a more emotional bond with the baby than a financial one. But maybe I am just kidding myself and its me that really wants the emotional bond
Why would you want this guy back in your life as a partner after the way he has treated you while you are pregnant. He has shown you that you are a very low priority in his world. You are setting yourself for future heartache if you expect him to suddenly wake up and start treating you right. Most of the time, having
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