pregnant with h baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2009
pregnant with h baby
13
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 10:36am

Hi im new here and from england and this is my first time posting, im 4 months pregnant with h baby and have been in my affair with a co-worker for about 18 months, my question is for any girls that have been preg while in an affair did you continue to have sex with h or ap or both, im hoping to use the opportunity to stop having sex with h in about a month but fully intend or at least hope to continue sex with ap right through, how did this all work for you?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 1:08pm

Ok, what I want to know from you is. What did your H ever do to you to deserve such disrespect? Can you stop for a moment and think the devastation he will feel if he finds out what you're planning to do? Why bring a child into a world like this that's already loaded with so much deceit and a very shaky foundation. And what kind of a man would be so cold as to keep using your body knowing full well you're carrying your H's child in it.

Jenny, what you're contemplating should be the least of your worries. Bringing a child into this world is a huge responsibility and you have to make sure to provide that child with a secure and happy home. It's obvious that is not what it is now, so you have lots to do to make it so before the baby gets here.

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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 1:36pm

Okay.........um your first and only care should be for that small one inside you. Why would you have sex with someone who wasn't your spouse when you are indeed pregnant. Your affair partner could be seeing someone other than you and give something to your child. I am not saying that is the case. Yet think about this one for a minute. You KNOW your husband. You know only what your affair partner tells you or will allow you to know. I might be off base to say this but when you are pregnant things really need to change and be about that child and not what you are feeling.


Please for the sake of your baby think about what type of life you wish to give him or her....and not what type of disease you might more

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 1:46pm

I was in similar position in the sense that my xAP's W was pregnant and he and i were having our ball.
I would say its not a good idea at all.Take care of yourself and your unborn baby.Make preparations for the welcome of the new one.

(( hugs ))

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 4:39pm

Hello Jenny- I have not been in your situation and can only imagine how hard it must be for you. I wish I had some

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 5:35pm

In my mind being supportive of something does not mean that you ignore something that could be harmful to the person. What if a poster tells you I am so into this guys and he ignores me to no end. Then later she talks about harming herself...and wonders how others dealt with it. Everyone here has had an affair or is in one. As a mother, I was really fearful of the situation. I have seen post where we often tell others " yeah it is time to move on", so what makes this any different. I don't think anyone was trying to run her away, but I think we are trying to get her to look past anything that could be even in the least bit harmful to the baby.


I am married, and I have three children. Nobody told her to leave her lover.....we just told her to look and think about the child and to be careful. Sex while pregnant with someone other than your spouse and sometimes with the spouse can be dangerous.


How would you feel two months later if she came back and posted that something was wrong with the baby due to a STD? We have the right to help when we can. All we can do is give our two cent, but in the end it is up to that person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 8:11pm

Hi Shesant-


You make some very valid points. I do agree with you,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 8:39pm

I get what you are saying. However, under any other situation I would agree with you 1000% percent. However, the mother in me took over. In my mind to read it and go on when you can say hey Joan...be careful means , you are not being a good friend." not that you are not being one"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 8:43pm

I feel that if I see someone running right into a swimming pool filled with boiling oil and have the potential to hurt sooo many others in after effect. I will say and do something to pull that person out of their stupor. Call that whatever you want, but for me it's how I show support. You! (general you) can criticized me all you want, but if I can somehow or other, have that "someone" stop for a bit and think about the consequences of their actions, then I did my good deed for the day.

Have a nice day y'all!!!

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com


"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 8:49pm
I agree. We look out for the greater good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2009
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 9:00pm
I didnt expect to be judged and of course I am being careful but thanks all anyway for your advice.

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