Pressure!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Pressure!
2
Sun, 10-19-2003 - 6:13pm
I'm a MW and been seeing OM for a little over a year now. My H and I have small kids together, so I feel bad about leaving. But OM is getting restless, and pressuring me to move out. I've told him that I'm planning on leaving my H, but that it takes time because of the kids. He wants me to get a divorce lawyer tomorrow and move out. This pressure is really turning me off. I'm not quite sure if I want to get a divorce. I love my H, but we are basically best friends. What should I do? Should I break it off with OM, or leave my H?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
In reply to: isabana
Sun, 10-19-2003 - 9:33pm
Hi Isabana,

I am a single woman, who has never been married, and who is involved with a MM. Therefore, I cannot really comment from the experience of being married. However, I don't think you should do anything based on what someone else wants. If you want to divorce your H, this should be your own decision based on the fact you no longer want to be in your marriage, and not because of OM.

I would love for my MM to no longer be married, but not so that he can start a life with me (although that may very well happen eventually). I would like for him to divorce his W because she takes him for granted and treats him like crap. He isn't ready to take that step in his life. He may never be ready. Essentially it is his decision to make. I knew when I got involved with him that he was married and I have no business telling him what to do in regards to his marriage. My relationship with him is seperate from his marriage.

Anyway, best wishes to you so that you can make the best decision for your own wellbeing.

Annika

Brightest Blessings, Annika


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: isabana
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 11:10am
I can see OM point of view, because we've been together awhile now. But he lives with a roommate that he doesn't get along with, and keep hinting that he wants to stay in a place with heat. When I told him to rent a place by himself, he said he can't afford to. I wonder if the reason he wants me to rush is because he wants us to live together. I told him that I can't bring him around my sons just yet. I don't want to confuse the boys. He says he understands, yet keeps pushing it. I didn't lead him on, but he's being pushy and I don't like it. I know he loves me and I love him, but I don't know if I want to spend my life with him. Everytime I tell him how I feel about things he does or says, he will just tell me what I want to hear. It's so obvious. Then I tell him not to do that, and he says he means it. Well, I don't know what to do. Should I end it with OM and try to make things work with H?